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| Home > Article Library > Editorials > Pointers for Proselytizers | Search |
| Pointers for Proselytizers by Star |
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Pagans often complain about proselytizers. Many of them employ methods which we consider to be rude and sometimes even invasive. In addition, we often see their efforts as futile and ill-advised. Sometimes the very act of proselytizing is considered rude, even if the proselytizer behaves politely. It was, therefore, a surprising change of pace when in November 2003 our forum hosts received an e-mail with some questions about proselytizing to Pagans. The writer was a Christian whose congregation had recently discovered what non-Christians generally thought of their proselytization methods, and they wished to find out how they could make those methods more appealing. The e-mail was posted on our message board for comments, as was a later e-mail with follow-up questions. The article below is a summary of the thread; the original questions are in italics, with a discussion of responses following. We hope that this will help give proselytizing Christians some insight into how Pagans view such efforts.
Part 1: Rude Behaviours
What do Christians do when they proselytize that you see as rude or offensive?
This question prompted more varied responses than any of the other three questions asked over the course of the thread. There are many things which our posters find rude and offensive about the proselytization they have experienced; unlike the other questions, there was not an answer here which stood out as being the most common.
The most frequent response, by a slim margin, was that our posters felt the assumption that there is one and only one truth, and the proselytizers are the ones who have it, was rude. Some people also mentioned that they felt it was rude to proselytize at all for this very reason. This is perhaps a difference between the way the proselytizers view religion and the way our posters seem to view it. In the proselytizer's mind, there is only one truth, and he is trying to help us have the best afterlife possible by revealing that truth to us. Many of our posters, however, feel that if there is only one truth, there is no way to tell whether Christianity can lay claim to any more of that truth than any other religion. From their point of view, we cannot know which truth is the right truth except by trusting our hearts and following the path we believe to be correct. Therefore, they feel it is rude for proselytizers to claim to have any more knowledge of this truth than anyone else.
The next most common response spoke to scare tactics and threats. The stereotypical proselytizer will often tell his targets that failure to convert will result in the target's soul being condemned to Hell. This may be delivered as a threat--convert or else--or it may be couched in more polite terms such as, "But you surely don't want to go to Hell, do you?" This is one of the surest ways to make your target stop listening to you. For an example of how this might feel to a non-Christian, consider an example involving a door-to-door salesman. When you open the door to him, he tells you that you must buy the vacuum cleaner he's selling or you will be thrown out of your apartment. You might think him strange, or rude, or perhaps even mentally unstable, depending on how he delivers this threat. Your reaction in that case would not be unlike the reaction many non-Christians have to proselytizers who make threats about hellfire and damnation.
A third often-mentioned rude behaviour was the assumption that the target knows nothing about Christianity. Since your targets are non-Christian, you might think that this is a valid assumption. However, many of today's Pagans were once Christian themselves. They may have been raised in a church very similar to yours, gone to Sunday school as a child, been taught about more complex issues as they grew older, and so on and so forth. This won't be the case for every Pagan you encounter, nor will every Pagan you encounter have a Christian background. Even those who do not, however, have been raised in a world where Christianity is one of the three dominant religions. It is difficult in many areas of the world to go through life with absolutely no knowledge of Christianity whatsoever. The assumption that Pagans in particular know nothing about Christianity therefore seems condescending and--well, rude.
These were only the three most common answers. There were also several involving the proselytizer's treatment of the target's religion, such as trying to define the target's religion for him, failure to recognize that the target is just as devoted to his religion as you are to yours, discounting personal experiences which have led the target to his current path, and not knowing or caring to know anything about the target's religion. There were a few complaints about the logic sometimes used by proselytizers--basing arguments on the Bible or Christian theology, for example, when neither holds any particular authority for non-Christians. There were also several points of common courtesy. Going door-to-door at certain times of the day when people might be just waking up or eating dinner, for example, is rude whether you're proselytizing or selling magazines. So are invasion of personal space, claiming to know more about your subject (i.e. Christianity) than you really do, refusing to take no for an answer, approaching total strangers, and holier-than-thou behaviour. Other posters mentioned that they felt uncomfortable with proselytizers who approached children rather than adults or who exhibited what they perceived to be cult-like behaviour, making statements like, "Don't have any friends? We'll be your friends!" As you can see, there are many, many reasons why the average Pagan finds the average proselytizer to be rude and obnoxious. While it's true that not all groups or individuals seeking to convert people to Christianity will exhibit these behaviours, these are things that have been an issue for our posters in the past, and also are things that proselytizers may want to avoid if they wish to be heard or taken seriously.
Part 2: Effective Methods
What can Christians do to spread the Gospel in a positive and non-offensive manner?
This question, too, garnered many different responses, with advice ranging from simple etiquette to who to approach and when to how to deal with questions.
In this case, there was one clear favourite among the replies. It was, simply, to live your faith rather than trying to force it on others. Expressing your Christian love for others by volunteering in a soup kitchen will show us what a wonderful religion Christianity is far better than a sermon on a street corner or a random person at our door. When someone asks you why you're doing what you're doing, you have an excellent opportunity to share your faith by telling them that you are doing God's work to help the less fortunate. You don't even have to do volunteer work, really. Simply live your life in a way that is kind and loving to others, and credit God as appropriate. This will leave non-Christians with a far better impression of Christianity than active proselytizing, thus making them less likely to discount it as a religious option.
Another common suggestion was to ask once, politely, if your target is interested in hearing what you have to say, and not press the issue if they say no. "Polite" is the key word here. The fact that you are sharing what you feel to be a message of truth and love does not give you license to be rude. In addition, good manners are far less likely to prompt an immediate refusal to listen. Being polite doesn't just mean saying pardon me and please and thank you, either. It means not imposing on your target's personal space, for example. Remember that many people are not comfortable when someone is standing a mere inch or two away from them or when a stranger makes uninvited physical contact with them. If they are not comfortable, they will be concentrating on that rather than on your message. Also remember that it's polite not to press an issue if your offer to discuss it has been declined. No means no. Pursuing someone who has already indicated that they are not interested in what you have to say will only make them less likely to listen to you.
A third answer which was often repeated and agreed with was that proselytizers should talk with their targets rather than to them. Be willing to listen, not just to speak. Be interested in who your targets are, what their lives are like, and how religion--yours and theirs--applies to it. If they talk about their religion, don't try to steer the conversation back to Christianity. Instead, listen and ask questions, and be willing to learn a little bit about their beliefs. (This part is only common sense; if you don't know anything about their beliefs, it's difficult to argue effectively that yours are better than theirs.) Remember that you are communicating, not lecturing, and communication is a two-way street.
Again, these are just three of the many answers posted. Other important points include being patient and not expecting conversion to happen overnight, putting yourself in your target's shoes by considering how you would react if you were the target and the person you are proselytizing was trying to convert you to their religion, admitting to not knowing the answers if that is indeed the case, approaching only adults, offering love and acceptance unconditionally rather than on the condition that your target converts, and making sure your attempts focus on Christ and God rather than on a political agenda. These things might not magically make people convert to Christianity, but they will certainly go a long way to making sure that people hear and listen to your message. In the end, you cannot force conversion, but you can increase your chances of being effective by adopting some of the practices discussed here.
Part 3: Understanding the Odds
Is there anything that would cause you to re-examine your beliefs and perhaps seek out a different religion?
This is, perhaps, the most crucial question asked in this thread. You might expect the answer to be a flat-out no, given the Pagan nature of this board. In fact, although many responses were negative, it's not quite so simple. By far the most common response was, actually, both yes and no.
Yes, there are things which would cause us to re-examine our beliefs. In fact, many posters reported that they often re-evaluate their beliefs and their religion. These people hold that doing so is a part of having a living, growing belief system. Re-examining their beliefs and what those beliefs are based on is necessary to ensure that they are thinking for themselves and still following what they feel is the correct path for them. Modifications are made to their paths, if needed, so that it fits their beliefs. This is considered to be a normal process for many of our posters and should not be mistaken for confusion.
However, our posters also reported that they did not feel such scrutiny of their own beliefs was generally prompted by the efforts of their fellow human beings. Several people stated that the only thing which might cause them to consider converting to a different religion would be experiencing a direct call from or connection to God. Many Pagans believe that they have such contact with the Gods they currently worship, and thus only more direct contact would cause them to consider changing religions. In addition, a desire to change must be present before we can make such a decision. That desire is not something that can be talked into someone; it is an internal process, a personal feeling. Hence--yes, but no. Our members might re-examine our beliefs and think about converting, but it must be prompted internally or by Deity, and it isn't likely to be triggered by other people.
This was not the only response, but it was the most common. We also had posters indicate that they would not be likely to consider another religion at all because of a combination of commitments and personal experiences which make their current faith the right place for them. Some posters indicated that they felt the very question of whether they would consider conversion was rude. There were even some who responded to the question that was paired with this one (below) but simply had no comment on this particular issue. In general, though, "yes, but no" seems to be the most common reaction among the members of our forum.
If you did decide to seek another religion would Christianity be a religion you would consider or have our attempts to proselytize over the years closed your mind to Christianity?
Responses to this question were more varied, and equally split between positive and negative. However, the deciding factor seems to be personal experience with Christianity itself rather than proselytization. Several people indicated that proselytization had not changed their mind about Christianity one way or the other. This is, possibly, due to the fact that Pagans often seem to dismiss rude proselytizers without really listening to them. It is also probably due in part to one of the factors mentioned above, that other people don't tend to change their minds about religion.
About half of the respondents to the question indicated that if they were seeking another religion, Christianity would be on their list of things to look into. While many Pagans have had bad experiences with Christianity, several of our posters also indicated that Christianity would be a possibility (if they were considering conversion) because they had parted with the church on good terms and had always had a good relationship with Christianity. Some others said that although they knew enough about Christianity to know that the more conservative denominations were not a good fit for them, they also knew enough to say that if they were seeking, they might investigate more mainline or liberal denominations. One woman told us that she didn't find conversion to Christianity an impossibility, but it would be low on her list because her religious background included experiences with the Church and its teachings which she did not wish to revisit.
The other half of the responses were more doubtful about the prospect of considering Christianity, should the posters be looking for a new religion. While again some simply found the very question offensive, most people who felt this way seemed to be basing their answer on their current knowledge of Christianity. Again, remember than many Pagans have been Christian and/or studied Christianity (sometimes in great depth) in the past. Our posters told us that after careful consideration, they had come to the conclusion that their beliefs simply didn't match those of Christianity. Having already decided that, they see no reason to continue investigating a path they know they are not going to follow.
As you can see, some Pagans may still be open to conversion, while others are not. As previously noted, even those who are open to it will not likely convert as a result of proselytization. If you feel you must proselytize, however, you may want to take the time to find out which group your target falls into before launching into a full-scale conversion attempt. It may save you a lot of wasted energy.
Conclusion
This is only a glimpse of the conversation which has occurred as a result of the curiosity of our original proselytizer. If you wish to see more in-depth examination of the topic, we encourage you to read the thread itself. (You can read this thread by clicking here. Log in as a guest if necessary.). As of the time of this writing, it is still being added to. The topic has drifted somewhat, but we still occasionally see a new response to the original questions. We hope that this thread and this document have helped you to better understand Pagans and why certain methods of proselytization do not seem to be effective with them. If nothing else, it has been an interesting discussion.