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Author Topic: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit  (Read 2358 times)

Materialist

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The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« on: November 29, 2013, 10:55:05 pm »
The setting: my mother, a night monitor, got off early on Thanksgiving before she could watch The Muppet Holiday Special with Lady Gaga at the gatehouse. I, being  a member of the Younger Generation, was the only one capable of operating the television, which meant turning it on half an hour early to monitor signal strength and frequently fidget with the antenna.

The scene: a store commercial featuring Suburban Housewife trying to pick a brand of what looked like toilet paper (the signal was inconsistent, so half the commercial was pixels).

The spirit: suddenly, a blue dress wearing, blue butterfly winged, blue haired woman pops out of the stacks of rolls to give penny saving advice.

Yes, an immortal denizen of insect/human hybrids dwells among the narrow passageways in the canyon of Grocery Store, to guide one upon the path of hunting down good quality brands in the linoleum and metal jungle of Free Market.

I think, a thousand years from now, our descendants shall be worshipers of the Toilet Paper Fairy, with many sagas written about her.

Anyway, even if that doesn't happen, we consumers can use her as a symbol representing our ability to only buy what we really need, not to give in to gimmicks, and avoid over priced junk.

mlr52

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2013, 11:49:17 pm »
Quote from: Materialist;131078
The setting: my mother, a night monitor, got off early on Thanksgiving before she could watch The Muppet Holiday Special with Lady Gaga at the gatehouse. I, being  a member of the Younger Generation, was the only one capable of operating the television, which meant turning it on half an hour early to monitor signal strength and frequently fidget with the antenna.



To improve reception if you have a cat let her/him sit on top of the TV.

Quote

The spirit: suddenly, a blue dress wearing, blue butterfly winged, blue haired woman pops out of the stacks of rolls to give penny saving advice.

Yes, an immortal denizen of insect/human hybrids dwells among the narrow passageways in the canyon of Grocery Store, to guide one upon the path of hunting down good quality brands in the linoleum and metal jungle of Free Market.

I think, a thousand years from now, our descendants shall be worshipers of the Toilet Paper Fairy, with many sagas written about her.

Anyway, even if that doesn't happen, we consumers can use her as a symbol representing our ability to only buy what we really need, not to give in to gimmicks, and avoid over priced junk.

 
Its a job, that pays the bills.:)
Light Your Candle, In Love and Service, Blessed Be.
I am a Notary Public for The State of New York, - I do not charge for Notary Fee\'s, I Live in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Jack

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2013, 01:50:48 am »
Quote from: Materialist;131078
The setting: my mother, a night monitor, got off early on Thanksgiving before she could watch The Muppet Holiday Special with Lady Gaga at the gatehouse. I, being  a member of the Younger Generation, was the only one capable of operating the television, which meant turning it on half an hour early to monitor signal strength and frequently fidget with the antenna.

The scene: a store commercial featuring Suburban Housewife trying to pick a brand of what looked like toilet paper (the signal was inconsistent, so half the commercial was pixels).

The spirit: suddenly, a blue dress wearing, blue butterfly winged, blue haired woman pops out of the stacks of rolls to give penny saving advice.

Yes, an immortal denizen of insect/human hybrids dwells among the narrow passageways in the canyon of Grocery Store, to guide one upon the path of hunting down good quality brands in the linoleum and metal jungle of Free Market.

I think, a thousand years from now, our descendants shall be worshipers of the Toilet Paper Fairy, with many sagas written about her.

Anyway, even if that doesn't happen, we consumers can use her as a symbol representing our ability to only buy what we really need, not to give in to gimmicks, and avoid over priced junk.

 
I saw that commercial! Though I think she was selling paper towels. She was kinda cute, though.
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Lionrhod

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2013, 04:10:55 pm »
Quote from: Materialist;131078

I think, a thousand years from now, our descendants shall be worshipers of the Toilet Paper Fairy, with many sagas written about her.

Anyway, even if that doesn't happen, we consumers can use her as a symbol representing our ability to only buy what we really need, not to give in to gimmicks, and avoid over priced junk.


LOL! I'm not sure whether I love that commercial or hate it. I'm leaning closer to hate, but maybe just because they play it over and over.

That said, I'm all for creating our own Urban/Surburban Gods.

For instance, down here in Orlando we have the worship of Vera, Goddess of Parking. (I'm sorta not kidding.) She appears as a woman in a Meter Maid's suit. If you're looking for a parking space, ask her for aid and she will help you find a spot -- often a nice shady one, or one that is near the building you're going to.

And yes, it actually works, though I don't know if she's extended herself to other cities yet.
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Kokopelli

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The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2013, 07:51:53 pm »
Quote from: Materialist;131078
The setting: my mother, a night monitor, got off early on Thanksgiving before she could watch The Muppet Holiday Special with Lady Gaga at the gatehouse. I, being  a member of the Younger Generation, was the only one capable of operating the television, which meant turning it on half an hour early to monitor signal strength and frequently fidget with the antenna.

The scene: a store commercial featuring Suburban Housewife trying to pick a brand of what looked like toilet paper (the signal was inconsistent, so half the commercial was pixels).

The spirit: suddenly, a blue dress wearing, blue butterfly winged, blue haired woman pops out of the stacks of rolls to give penny saving advice.

Yes, an immortal denizen of insect/human hybrids dwells among the narrow passageways in the canyon of Grocery Store, to guide one upon the path of hunting down good quality brands in the linoleum and metal jungle of Free Market.

I think, a thousand years from now, our descendants shall be worshipers of the Toilet Paper Fairy, with many sagas written about her.

Anyway, even if that doesn't happen, we consumers can use her as a symbol representing our ability to only buy what we really need, not to give in to gimmicks, and avoid over priced junk.

I actually find it a bit annoying, though not as bad as the stupid "He went to Gared," or the Lexus commercials.

mlr52

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2013, 08:46:08 pm »
Quote from: Lionrhod;131124

That said, I'm all for creating our own Urban/Surburban Gods.


Harlan Edission one wrote that if there were no Gods man would create them.

Quote

For instance, down here in Orlando we have the worship of Vera, Goddess of Parking. (I'm sorta not kidding.) She appears as a woman in a Meter Maid's suit. If you're looking for a parking space, ask her for aid and she will help you find a spot -- often a nice shady one, or one that is near the building you're going to.

And yes, it actually works, though I don't know if she's extended herself to other cities yet.
Brooklyn, NY did not know who or what was responsable for providing me a parking spot on time, when I asked thank you, for her name.
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Lionrhod

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2013, 09:35:43 pm »
Quote from: mlr52;131145

Brooklyn, NY did not know who or what was responsable for providing me a parking spot on time, when I asked thank you, for her name.


There are also the Bitchy Kitchen Faeries - they're the ones who clean up when you're not looking, because you're too lazy to do so. I have often threatened our roommate with their wrath.
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stephyjh

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2013, 11:01:28 pm »
Quote from: mlr52;131084
To improve reception if you have a cat let her/him sit on top of the TV.


 
Its a job, that pays the bills.:)


Yep. 'Cause a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. :p
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That what is no sense must be nonsense.

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Sefiru

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2013, 02:37:28 pm »
Quote from: stephyjh;131152
Yep. 'Cause a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. :p

 
And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. *goes off to watch Mel Brooks movies*
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stephyjh

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #9 on: December 01, 2013, 07:32:49 pm »
Quote from: Sefiru;131199
And if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. *goes off to watch Mel Brooks movies*

 
*high-fives Sefiru*
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

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mlr52

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #10 on: December 01, 2013, 08:25:16 pm »
Quote from: Lionrhod;131149
There are also the Bitchy Kitchen Faeries - they're the ones who clean up when you're not looking, because you're too lazy to do so. I have often threatened our roommate with their wrath.

 
No thanks my mother is still alive and vists.
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mlr52

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #11 on: December 01, 2013, 08:26:33 pm »
Quote from: stephyjh;131152
Yep. 'Cause a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll. :p

 
No, the cat thinks you are looking at them.
Light Your Candle, In Love and Service, Blessed Be.
I am a Notary Public for The State of New York, - I do not charge for Notary Fee\'s, I Live in Brooklyn, N.Y.

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Re: The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I'm serious): A Suburban Spirit
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2013, 06:53:33 pm »
Quote from: stephyjh;131215
*high-fives Sefiru*

 
tee hee! :D:
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