The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

So, in order to drum up discussion, and to help myself to get a better grasp on FK topics, I'm gonna post some of my own thoughts/journal entries on the topics posted on FK.org. So I started with one of the first topics: The Flame. Below are my thoughts and responses to the post. Please feel free to add your own below!



Initial Thoughts:

I think the most important thing to take from this is that we are all divine. And that, in order to make the world a better place, we should honor eachother, and build each other up, instead of tearing each other down. Even without the concept of all of us being divine, I think this is a goal that everyone should strive for. What is ever achieved when we constantly tear people down? Usually, people who are big into doing that seem to be unhappy with their own lives, and seek to make themselves feel better by putting other down.

I think that, perhaps, the biggest struggle for people to deal with when it comes to 'everything is divine' is exactly that- it's all divine. From the rock on the ground, to that person you can't stand, to the fecal matter that comes out of your bum. It's all divine. It's all part of the messy creation that is life. It all has its place, and that's part of the beauty of it all.

We are an interdependent species, reliant upon one another for our very survival. However, we are also separate individuals, with our own desires and needs. We must learn to nurture our own Flame while constricting others as little as possible, to let each Flame burn brightly without inhibiting another. We can, if we so choose, help everyone achieve their goals.

I think this is ever important. It rings closely with my Shinto learnings- that we all need eachother. That we should all strive to help one another. That it is the will of Kami to do this. The Kannagara that Shinto teaches- to live by the path of Kami. In Kemetic terms, I associate this with Ma'at (though Ma'at isn't always so fluffy happy, in my experience).

When we can truly accept our mistakes, learn from them, and take responsibility for them, then and only then can we grow beyond them and cease to make the same mistakes again and again.

This is something Set had worked with me on last year. Or the last two years, really. He took me, and showed me his dark side. And then, more or less, showed me my own. And said 'deal with it'. In order to be balanced, the darkness must be addressed. You have to get to know it. If you ignore it, it will only continue to stew and grow in the depths of yourself. And although you won't notice it, it will taint your actions, your speech- everything. I whole heartedly agree that people need to deal with their inner darkness.

Questions:

What are your flaws?

I have many flaws. I am angered quickly, and I constantly have to keep it in check. My red hair rules me. I am also quick to judge myself. I always say that I have blackness in my heart. I have dark thoughts and feelings that aren't productive to myself, or others. I also have to keep that in check. I have other flaws, but let's start with these

What are your virtues?

I am loyal. I'm hardworking. I can be affable, and a good friend- if you take the time to get to know me. I can't really think of much else right now lol.

Which question was harder to answer and why?

I think the virtues is harder to answer. The only reason the flaws are hard is because I can think of so many at once that I get overloaded, and I can't find the right words anymore. I think flaws for many people are easier to answer because our society likes to point out our flaws, not our strengths. If you believe in yourself, or are confident in yourself, many people like to say that you are egotistical. It seems our nation thrives on putting everyone down.

What feeds your Flame?

Dancing. Music. Happiness. Learning. Growing. Being around people I enjoy. Good conversation. Good food.

What stifles it?

Anger. Hostility. Negativity (that is unneeded, unwarranted, unproductive and/or unnecessary). Debbie downers. Fear.

Which do you court in your life?

I try to feed my flame. The more I branch into Shinto and FK practices, the lower my tolerance for stifling traits is. And that is from myself, and from others. I try to keep away from people that push my down, that bring down the mood of the area I'm in. I try to focus on the good, and less on the bad. Life is to short to be miserable all the time.

How do you nurture other people’s Flames?

I try to help people realize their goals. I try to help others learn, and to be a resource to those who need my assistance. A goal for me in the future is to become more involved in charity work, which I think would help to nurture my and others' flames. I could probably work harder on nurturing others, which I think could be started by trying to keep in mind that everyone is divine.

Allow your own to be nurtured?

I try to include activities in my life that make me happy, and build up my flame. That's about all I can say on that.

Do you live in a nurturing environment?

Yes and no. My home is nurturing. I'm in a good relationship, and I can practice my faith freely at home. I'm also able to do things I enjoy at home. However, my work environment is toxic, and full of people who hate being there. Yet, due to the economy, can't go anywhere else. My job environment, at best, is crap. I'm currently working on finding solutions to this, but it takes time.

-Devo

I struggled with this for a long time. I couldn't get my head around the idea that EVERY LITTLE thing was divine. I just had to accept it and move forward. One day I got it, and I actually blogged about it:

 
I think I was born with the idea that everything is divine, or at least, living, or could contain the divine, etc. I remember being a kid, and having all of these stuffed cats. I loved them. I treated them like real cats. I'd keep them on my bed, lining them up down the wall- making sure that they could all see and breath easily. It was weird how I treated them in retrospect, but I guess I thought that they were something special.

Everything is special. In this modern age, we treat our objects like crap. We don't care anymore- it's just an item. And if it breaks, we can get another. Everything is disposable. I think this plays a role in the problems of seeing the divine in everything. Perhaps it's too much effort to worry about or care about all of the items around us... or something. I still think it's a noble/good idea to try and see the divinity around us. Makes it a lot easier to stay connected and happy, at least for me.

-Devo

''''

Questions:
What are your flaws? What are your virtues? Which question was harder to answer and why?
What feeds your Flame? What stifles it? Which do you court in your life?
How do you nurture other people’s Flames? Allow your own to be nurtured? Do you live in a nurturing environment?

To start off I have crazy mood swings, am very critical of myself, and procrastinate.

I'm loyal and a good listener.

It was much easier to give the faults. I think it was easier because I am very critical and judgmental toward myself so finding fault is never hard.

Alone time in nature, playing with my dogs, listening to music, having card games with my family, and comfort food feed my Flame.

What stifles my Flame is family disharmony and negative thoughts about myself.

I'm getting better at feeding the Flame. Not so long ago though I not only stifled but smothered my Flame.

I nurture other people's Flame by doing small things for them. Things like buying/making a special snack, picking up collection items at thrift stores, and just giving a call to see how they are doing.

I'm trying to nurture myself by doing small things for me. I've finally came to the conclusion that I can't feed others if I am empty.

My environment is nurturing overall. I have a wonderful husband who is caring, helpful, and supportive. I'm also blessed with a strong extended family. I am learning to deal with having my in-laws live with us. Guess like most people there are good days and bad days.

...I'll get to the questions in my next post.

What are your flaws?

Impatience, pessimism, procrastination, and fits of overwhelming emotion.  The last include the red emotions which, while beneficial to helping me come out of depression, are not conducive to flame work

What are your virtues?

I genuinely want to help people, I have patience with genuine ignorance, empathy, and loyalty...as long as I am not stabbed in the back.

Which question was harder to answer...and why?

I think many of us tend to look for virtues in others and not in ourselves.  It is second nature to me to focus my attention on my flaws - not for the purpose of improving them, but for the purpose of convincing myself I'm not worthy in some way.  

What feeds your Flame?

Singing, swimming, being with (chosen) family and friends, having the time to breathe.

What stifles it?

Stress, anxiety, and the pushing down of emotional reactions out of fear of losing control.

Which do you court in your life?

I've been trying to work against stress and anxiety for almost two years, through therapy and writing.  Unfortunately, they still come to me on a routine basis, knowing that I'll accept them.

How do you nurture other people's Flames?

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.  I offer help when asked (and sometimes when not!)  I want to see good things happen to my friends and they are very aware of it.

Allow your own to be nurtured?

I try to accept help when I need it and to not deflect genuine praise...but it doesn't always work.

Do you live in a nurturing environment?

Some of the time, I do...but even if I lived in one all of the time I am uncertain if I'd be able to allow myself to be nurtured.  It is one of the (many) things I need to address.

Im making progress, its well worth coming back to these.

...

It's been interesting reading through everyone's stuff. Seeing that we all have our ups and downs, our good and bad.

It has got me to wondering though- what are we doing to help lessen the bad? For some of your flaws, are you actively working to eliminate them? Have you found that any sort of method or process helps you to work towards betting yourself?

My biggest demon lately has been eating out. I'm trying to actively work on that right now by planning out my meals better, and investing more money into what I buy- so that I have more variety, and less excuse to eat out.

I'm also trying to focus on the FK homework about thinking about my virtues, and fitting in more time (ha!) for things that feed the flame. I'm sorta... not doing so hot on that XD

How about you guys?

-Devo