The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum

Hello!

I'm still a beginner and this morning I was casting my second ever spell. I can only do spells late at night or in the morning because it's the only time I can guarantee that I won't be interrupted - however, sometimes, it still happens.

Today it was one thing after the other. I drew my circle and realized I forgot the oil I needed to anoint the candle. I was doing a simple elemental spell to banish negative feelings. I know the moon should be waning for maximum energy toward banishing spells but most spells seem complicated and have ingredients I could never get ahold of.

Anyway, I forgot the warming oil - that has essential oils in it, so I use it in place of essential oil when I have it - but I reached for it and it seemed to be within the circle anyway. Then, I lit two candles and quickly realized I probably should have only lit one (the last spell I had used an additional candle just to do the spell but I should have known better for this one). And then I spilled wax on my cloth!

I decided to just try the spell over again, so I un-cast my circle and re-cast it with a slightly clearer mind, and now the incense wouldn't light!

Should I take this as a bad omen or maybe I'm just nervous?

The other thing I wanted to know is, it is pretty much inevitable that I get interrupted constantly. I live with my mom who's disabled so she's CONSTANTLY asking for help. Even when I tell her I need 10-15 minutes alone, something always comes up. Does this kind of interruption greatly dilute my spells? I don't leave the circle per se, but I have to answer her or else she might break down my door in anger (and then you'll see a disabled person move fast). I love casting spells but I feel like I simply can't do it because there is ALWAYS an interruption.

Is there any harm with re-doing a spell if you mess it up halfway through? If you have already cast your circle and grounded, do you ground again, un-cast, do what you need to do, cast, and ground again? Or does that just mess everything up?

Just looking for tips and tricks for the newbie!

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Is there any harm with re-doing a spell if you mess it up halfway through? If you have already cast your circle and grounded, do you ground again, un-cast, do what you need to do, cast, and ground again? Or does that just mess everything up?

Just looking for tips and tricks for the newbie!

 
I don't cast a circle for spell work as it isn't part of my path, but I can't see why it would be a problem to start over without recasting the circle.  Things happen, and we're not perfect, after all.

Sorry, what I meant to say was that my mom isn't as disabled as she tries to appear because although she claims to not be able to walk (because of her weight), when she needs to chase me down the street like a maniac she will.

 
It's not really up to able bodied people to judge "how disabled" disabled people are.

It's not really up to able bodied people to judge "how disabled" disabled people are.

 
This. I have good days and bad days; bad days mean I can't walk, good days mean I can run for short distances, if I need to. It's really not up to able-bodied folk to decide that I'm faking my spinal injury because they think I'm too fat, or whatever.

Not to mention, often I'll choose to do something that I know will hurt later (like running to catch the bus), because the need to do that thing outweighs the need to keep my pain at a manageable level (as in I need to catch that bus because the next one is in an hour and a half).

Hello!

I'm still a beginner and this morning I was casting my second ever spell. I can only do spells late at night or in the morning because it's the only time I can guarantee that I won't be interrupted - however, sometimes, it still happens.

Today it was one thing after the other. I drew my circle and realized I forgot the oil I needed to anoint the candle.

In addition to what everyone else has said about your attitude toward your mom's disability (don't have the spoons to add to that right now) maybe a little more planning would help?

Sure some things can be done on the fly, but sometimes, I like to make a check list before I start. I figure out exactly what I'll need and check it off of the list as I gather it all together. Then I make sure that it's close at hand in my ritual space before I start.

I was doing a simple elemental spell to banish negative feelings. I know the moon should be waning for maximum energy toward banishing spells but most spells seem complicated and have ingredients I could never get ahold of.

I do try to coordinate my spells with the appropriate phase of the moon. I've found that I can do pretty much whatever I need to do during any phase, depending on how I focus my intent. In this case, instead of banishing, I might decide to focus on drawing positive energy toward me. For example, if I want to banish anger, I might focus on healing from the hurt that caused the anger in the first place. Make sense?

Spells can be complicated, yes, but they don't have to be. You can substitute ingredients if you take a little time, do some research, and figure out what you could use instead. Again, planning.

Anyway, I forgot the warming oil - that has essential oils in it, so I use it in place of essential oil when I have it - but I reached for it and it seemed to be within the circle anyway. Then, I lit two candles and quickly realized I probably should have only lit one (the last spell I had used an additional candle just to do the spell but I should have known better for this one). And then I spilled wax on my cloth!

It helps to figure out not only what you're going to use, but how and why you're going to use it before you start.

I decided to just try the spell over again, so I un-cast my circle and re-cast it with a slightly clearer mind, and now the incense wouldn't light!

Should I take this as a bad omen or maybe I'm just nervous?

Maybe it's the PTB telling you this isn't the right time for this particular spell, maybe it's your own self doubt getting in the way, could be a little of both. Maybe you just weren't as prepared as you could have been.
 

The other thing I wanted to know is, it is pretty much inevitable that I get interrupted constantly. I live with my mom who's disabled so she's CONSTANTLY asking for help. Even when I tell her I need 10-15 minutes alone, something always comes up. Does this kind of interruption greatly dilute my spells? I don't leave the circle per se, but I have to answer her or else she might break down my door in anger (and then you'll see a disabled person move fast). I love casting spells but I feel like I simply can't do it because there is ALWAYS an interruption.

My best advice here is to find out when she won't be needing your help. Tell her that you need to schedule a little time for yourself, and make sure she has everything she needs before you start. Or, maybe you could ask a friend or family member to come over and look after her while you do your own thing? If neither of those is an option, plan your spells for when you know she'll be asleep, or out of the house.

Is there any harm with re-doing a spell if you mess it up halfway through? If you have already cast your circle and grounded, do you ground again, un-cast, do what you need to do, cast, and ground again? Or does that just mess everything up?

I've had all sorts of things go wrong before. Forgotten components, spilled wax and water... hell, once my alter cloth caught fire! There's no harm in just chucking the whole thing and starting over if you feel you need too. Or, you might want to wait for a day when you're more focused and have planned it out better. There might also be times when you feel it's best to push through it and continue.

It's your spell, it's up to you to decide how to proceed. Trust your gut and go with it.

Okay - you've just walked into two traps with this statement.

First - as maybeimawitch says, only your mother can say how able she is.  You're looking on from outside of her body and don't really know what's going on within.  You might want to check out this link: The Spoon Theory.

Second - talking about her not being able to walk due to her weight is close to being a fatphobic statement.  

 

Your second point is true for some people though. I don't see how its terribly fatphobic. Of course its not true for most fat people at ALL but there are some people that do have this issue.

Your second point is true for some people though. I don't see how its terribly fatphobic. Of course its not true for most fat people at ALL but there are some people that do have this issue.

So, here's the thing.

When we talk about fat people's bodies as if we have any authority over how much they should be moving/eating/dreaming/speaking/breathing, or when we talk about how disabled disabled folks are or how we think they're faking, we contribute to an overall culture of shaming and marginalization that continually privileges thin bodies over fat ones, able-bodied folks over disabled ones, and nuerotypical people over nueroatypical people.

No one knows the full extent of a person's disability except that person. Speaking about someone's disability, or weight, as if one knows better -- especially if one has a bias against that person already -- is ableist or fatphobic. Earthbride has made it clear that she doesn't have a good relationship with her mother, and she's talking about her mother's weight as if her mother doesn't have any bodily autonomy, as if her mother isn't a person. It's fat-shaming.

It also falls into the realm of concern-trolling: "But you're SO FAT you CAN'T WALK!" *wrings hands* Which, yeah, is a form of fat-shaming. Like how I constantly get "But aren't you worried you'll DIE?" from people who aren't my doctors and can't see that my health is perfect, aside from my spinal injury and my depression and anxiety and other brain issues.

Accusing someone of faking a disability is...well, it's just gross, because as I said, no one knows the full extent of a person's disability except that person. And it's very common. I'm always worried that if someone sees me going without my cane for a short period of time on a good day, then if they see me with the cane later they'll decide I'm a faker and a lazy fat bitch and I need to be put in my place. And yes, this happens; it's a legitimate fear.

That's the sort of culture these comments contribute to. The culture that policies people's bodies because they don't fit a certain mold.

Defending these comments by saying "well it's just FACT" is derailing.

The process of valuing “fact” over “opinion” is one very much rooted in preserving privilege. Through this methodology, the continued pain and othering of millions of people can be ignored because it’s supported by “opinion” (emotion) and not “fact” (rationality).

I did not find any of your statements overtly offensive, and frankly think the whole thing has been blown out of proportion.

Personally, I don't think it has.  If you come in all "ugh, fat disabled people!", you can't expect help from this fat, disabled person.