Author Topic: Humor/Quiz: There, I said it! (Read 203685 times)

SunflowerP · « **Reply #2085 on:** April 23, 2014, 01:45:43 am »

Quote from: Aspiria;145980

Just gonna say that I use Microsoft office 365. It stores stuff in a cloud, it's cheaper, goes on several devices, if you are forced to use a PC without office you can do a temp download, and you can pay yearly or monthly, and it always has the first updates.

Just so you know... the post to which you are replying was made in Jul 2011, and the person who made it has not been on TC in a year, so they're not around to see your recommendation.

Sunflower

stephyjh · « **Reply #2086 on:** April 24, 2014, 03:15:53 pm »

Quote from: SunflowerP;146005

Just so you know... the post to which you are replying was made in Jul 2011, and the person who made it has not been on TC in a year, so they're not around to see your recommendation.

Sunflower

Dear Unemployment People,
Go get fucked. My last day of work was March 15. It is now April 24. So if I call and ask for an update on the status of my claim, and you accuse me of wasting your time, FUCK YOU. If you can't do any better at customer service than that, let me have the job, and then everybody's in better shape--me, the state, and the other people calling in with claims. If you can't be civil, that's on you, sunshine.

Dear Social Services person,
The hell do you mean, my unemployment claim is not proof I'm unemployed? Getting a letter from my former employer stating that I don't work there anymore is ridiculous. How about, I give you their number and you CALL them? Or, hey, you GOOGLE the number and call them?

Dear potential employer,
In this state, an active real estate broker's license is not typically required for a leasing agent position as it would be for a sales agent position. So if you don't ask for it in the ad, you're going to get applicants who don't have it, and rejecting me for the fact that I don't have the qualification YOU DID NOT REQUEST is just ridiculous. Learn to ask for what you want!

TISI

Riothamus12 · « **Reply #2087 on:** April 24, 2014, 05:01:57 pm »

Quote from: stephyjh;146152

Dear Unemployment People,
Go get fucked.

TISI

This is not directed at anyone in particular...

Dear whoever it may concern...

Some times the urge to be closer to someone claims us all. Whether it is friendship, love, or a longing to feel kinship to someone. I too have this feeling and thus it is the source of my outrage in this instance. I do not follow a tradition with many members. I am but one person with a theology they have spent years formulating with the help of contemplation, cross-religion comparison, research of written sources, personal observations, analysis of advice given to me by others, and analysis of mundane knowledge. I did not come to these conclusions I have over night. No, it took me years. So imagine my irritation that when I go searching for someone who thinks similarly, not exactly the same but close enough that a small group could be formed, and not only do I not find anyone, they seem to treat the gnosis I have spent so much time assembling into a single whole as if it were nothing. I may not have a name for it, I may not have a book published, I may not spend hours assembling endless bibliographies for people who aren't going to read them anyway, but I did not do a Keyser Soze to develop it. I don't have the support of a nice little coven somewhere, a temple I can visit, or any special order that I can confide so it gets pretty damned lonely. That does not take away the legitimacy of what I believe though and it makes it feel like people are ganging up on me some times. Its true that I have very strong opinions and I prefer not to mince words about how I feel if I dislike something, but I do not get personal unless insulted personally first and I prefer not to do so. All I ever wanted was to feel like someone out there was of similar minds and that I would find friends. It is beginning to seem as if I will be a solitary for the rest of my life.

Dear people who do not understand,

My religion is not a hobby I indulge for amusement. It is a philosophy accompanied by practices which I do not undertake without serious consideration, preparation, and reflection.

Dear people who make demands of me they seldom make of others whilst claiming they do.

Shut up and leave me alone. Unless you have a sincere question or something constructive to say to me I'd rather not hear it.

TISI!

Allaya · « **Reply #2088 on:** April 24, 2014, 06:16:16 pm »

Quote from: Riothamus12;146156

This is not directed at anyone in particular...

Dear people who make demands of me they seldom make of others whilst claiming they do.

Shut up and leave me alone. Unless you have a sincere question or something constructive to say to me I'd rather not hear it.

TISI!

Dear I'd Never Say It to Your Face, But Whatevs...

You are allowed to ask for changes to a project. Scrapping over 20 hours that I put into a volunteer project because you prefer an audio track that sounds like Amateur Hour is really irritating. Especially when I could just give you what you wanted in about two minutes if you want to include upload time. The correct reply is: hey, can we have this instead? The wrong reply is: whelp, forget it but thanks.

The 20 hours was worth it if even it was to let you know what you didn't want. That's how this is supposed to work. Ugh.

There I Fucking Said It

Adnarim · « **Reply #2089 on:** April 25, 2014, 02:44:21 pm »

Dear ms. Stop making me so fuckinh tired. Stop making me walk around with a limp. Just stop it. Im 37. I have a kid. I need to be healthy.

dionysiandame · « **Reply #2090 on:** April 25, 2014, 03:11:17 pm »

Quote from: Adnarim;146193

Dear ms. Stop making me so fuckinh tired. Stop making me walk around with a limp. Just stop it. Im 37. I have a kid. I need to be healthy.

Dear Coworker,

Yes reorgs suck. Yes, we're all kind of uncertain about where we are, but the fact is SOME of us are actually trying to make the best out of the chaos. Some of us aren't trying to feed into the swirl of anger and fear coursing through the office because, yet again, another VP has brought in another group of managers.

You're right, we have no say in how things could go from here. We have no control over anything externally BUT we do have control over our own emotions and actions and the fact that you take som kind of perverted joy out of exclaiming how sick you are of everything in the face of people just trying to maintain cool and some air of positivity in this situation? Makes you a fucking bitch.

Also, I feel like such an idiot for taking time to compose a hymn and ritual for you to help stir fortune in your direction if you wish it. Asking me if doing this would "put a curse on you for life." shows why you're stuck in the bullshit rut you're in. You don't want change but you also want to take NO personal responsibility either by looking for a job or working a little magic.

My father always tells me to stay away from fools and assholes.

You're both.

Dear Home Depot Hos,

For $9.25 an hour you do NOT pay enough to deal with the bullshit hoodrat politics you have going on the Reston location. When a 45 year old head cashier gets off on being willfully obtuse while attempting to publically humiliate employees STILL manages to keep her job? I know that shit isn't kosher.

Please explain to me how the Arab, African, and White well-mannered, well-spoken, and timely employees receive few to zero notifications of excellence while every chicken-head with a fith grade vocabulary and the nasal speaking voice of Fran Drescher on helium somehow manages to snag management and/or higher positions? (On top of ridiculous amounts of bonus money)

There's a difference between solidarity and promoting shit employees to management who wouldn't know professionalism if you attached it to their empty skulls with weave glue and year old chicken grease.

So with that, I'll pick up my last paycheck. I ain't got shit to prove to you bitches. I paid my dues; worked in retail and customer service for years before I became a cubicle squatter. In places that didn't have the benefit of scan guns, computerized inventory, or direct-fucking-deposit (which Home Depot still hasn't figured out after a month...why?) The fact that, in all this time, you busted whores gained no skills and can't work anyplace else? Isn't even my problem.

Sit on a rusty nail and spin stupid bitches.

Here's hoping your food stamps don't run out.

TISI.

stephyjh · « **Reply #2091 on:** April 27, 2014, 04:15:48 am »

Quote from: dionysiandame;146194

Dear Coworker,

Yes reorgs suck. Yes, we're all kind of uncertain about where we are, but the fact is SOME of us are actually trying to make the best out of the chaos. Some of us aren't trying to feed into the swirl of anger and fear coursing through the office because, yet again, another VP has brought in another group of managers.

You're right, we have no say in how things could go from here. We have no control over anything externally BUT we do have control over our own emotions and actions and the fact that you take som kind of perverted joy out of exclaiming how sick you are of everything in the face of people just trying to maintain cool and some air of positivity in this situation? Makes you a fucking bitch.

Also, I feel like such an idiot for taking time to compose a hymn and ritual for you to help stir fortune in your direction if you wish it. Asking me if doing this would "put a curse on you for life." shows why you're stuck in the bullshit rut you're in. You don't want change but you also want to take NO personal responsibility either by looking for a job or working a little magic.

My father always tells me to stay away from fools and assholes.

You're both.

Dear Home Depot Hos,

For $9.25 an hour you do NOT pay enough to deal with the bullshit hoodrat politics you have going on the Reston location. When a 45 year old head cashier gets off on being willfully obtuse while attempting to publically humiliate employees STILL manages to keep her job? I know that shit isn't kosher.

Please explain to me how the Arab, African, and White well-mannered, well-spoken, and timely employees receive few to zero notifications of excellence while every chicken-head with a fith grade vocabulary and the nasal speaking voice of Fran Drescher on helium somehow manages to snag management and/or higher positions? (On top of ridiculous amounts of bonus money)

There's a difference between solidarity and promoting shit employees to management who wouldn't know professionalism if you attached it to their empty skulls with weave glue and year old chicken grease.

So with that, I'll pick up my last paycheck. I ain't got shit to prove to you bitches. I paid my dues; worked in retail and customer service for years before I became a cubicle squatter. In places that didn't have the benefit of scan guns, computerized inventory, or direct-fucking-deposit (which Home Depot still hasn't figured out after a month...why?) The fact that, in all this time, you busted whores gained no skills and can't work anyplace else? Isn't even my problem.

Sit on a rusty nail and spin stupid bitches.

Here's hoping your food stamps don't run out.

TISI.

To Whom It May Concern:
If you're going to be a pedantic asshat, at least be right. And when it's pointed out that you're wrong, with dictionary citation (normally a flawed approach, but a valid response to "that's not a word"), don't try to argue that because the conjugated forms aren't listed, they aren't words, even though the word has been shown to be a verb. If you don't know how a dictionary works, that's on you.

And yes, I am (to use the word you claim isn't valid even though its documented use dates to the early 17th century) disrespecting you. You earned it, you self-important, half-literate pedant.

TISI

Aranel · « **Reply #2092 on:** April 27, 2014, 07:34:34 pm »

Quote from: stephyjh;146283

To Whom It May Concern:
If you're going to be a pedantic asshat, at least be right. And when it's pointed out that you're wrong, with dictionary citation (normally a flawed approach, but a valid response to "that's not a word"), don't try to argue that because the conjugated forms aren't listed, they aren't words, even though the word has been shown to be a verb. If you don't know how a dictionary works, that's on you.

And yes, I am (to use the word you claim isn't valid even though its documented use dates to the early 17th century) disrespecting you. You earned it, you self-important, half-literate pedant.

TISI

Dear world.

Fuck off.

TIFSI

Chabas · « **Reply #2093 on:** April 28, 2014, 03:41:39 am »

Quote from: Aranel;146331

Dear world.

Fuck off.

TIFSI

Dear friend's parents,

congratulations on your grandbaby! As an honorary aunt to said grandbaby, I TOTALLY understand your excitement! I spent a week bouncing impatiently while I waited for a chance to visit, and bought ALL THE THINGS for the baby, and told EVERYONE about baby and...

..and I did NOT make my impatience friend's problem. Gods damn it, people. Yes, she's your daughter, and you're excited about grandbaby, but THIS IS NOT YOUR PARTY. Learn to deal with that. This is about friend, her husband, and their baby. Everyone else is, and should remain, on the sideline unless invited. This means no bringing extra people to the hospital when explicitly told not to because of friend's health. This means no telling people about baby when explicitly told not to. This means no whining about how sad it makes you that you don't get to visit more (at any time, but PARTICULARLY when you are the ONLY ones who've visited three times in a week!).

Get over yourself, and stop making your lack of maturity and excitement my friend's problem. She's had a hell of a delivery, is not recovering as well as one would hope, and she does NOT need your shit. Stick to the rules you agreed to with her beforehand, help instead of hinder, and stop trying to make this about you. It isn't, and never will be.

Next time friend breaks down crying over your shenanigans when she should be recovering and enjoying her new baby, I'm coming over to tear you not one, but THREE new ones.

TISI.

--Chabas

stephyjh · « **Reply #2094 on:** April 29, 2014, 11:11:04 pm »

Quote from: Chabas;146362

TISI.

--Chabas

Dear universe,

Sure, take a massive fucking shit on me while I'm down. Between my medfail day before yesterday and having my grandmother yell at me about what a failure I am and how I'm not trying and I'm a selfish person because I was UNABLE to focus on her health-whinges, and the job interview where I walked through the door and could SEE the store manager thinking "oh, hell no," and my unemployment STILL not coming in, I could NOT AFFORD for my car to throw a timing belt. Just the PARTS for that are over $100, and nobody I know has the tools to fix it, so I'm stuck having to pay for labor too. I DO NOT HAVE IT, and living in a place where I'm not close to where the jobs are, I can't GET the money to fix the car without having access to a car. And then my insurance company wants "prior authorization" to pay for a prescription that my doctor already approved, fucking insurance companies trying to practice medicine, and I can't get my meds until at LEAST tomorrow. THIS IS BULLSHIT. I don't know who the fuck painted the target across me, but TAKE IT OFF NOW.

Sincerely,
Me

TISI

Redfaery · « **Reply #2095 on:** April 30, 2014, 12:56:32 am »

Quote from: Adnarim;146193

Dear ms. Stop making me so fuckinh tired. Stop making me walk around with a limp. Just stop it. Im 37. I have a kid. I need to be healthy.

Dear Facebook friend

Nope. Nope. Nope.

You, as a white male, do not get to post a whiny Someecard about the state of education today, lamenting that remedial English is taught in college, while a century ago, Latin and Greek were taught in High School. What. The. Fuck.

You DO realize that your statement is a total straw man, right? Latin and Greek are kind of STILL being taught in High Schools, you know. Or what else did my sister get to take that trip to Rome for?

As for "remedial English in College" well....go fuck yourself. Have you ever heard of a GED? Because that's what it really is. Community Colleges offer remedial math, English, and science courses to adults who were unable to complete their education the first time around.

Your statement is ignorant. Your reaction to me pointing out that your statement was flawed was highly problematic.

I pointed out that higher education was no longer so exclusive *coughrichwhitemencough* and you replied that too many people "these days" had "jumped on the buss" - your spelling - and that it had been "wattered down." Yeah, I'm sure you know how to spell those words, but if you're going to imply that black people and poor people and brown people, and to large extent women too shouldn't go to college, get your damn spelling in order.

Besides, as you are frankly a rich white young man yourself....shut up. I'm tired of hearing you make statements that you obviously don't think about, and that you make without considering the experience of the less fortunate, or simply those who might have good reason for disagreeing. I'm done.

De-friending you.

There, I said it.

Aisling · « **Reply #2096 on:** April 30, 2014, 09:50:08 pm »

Quote from: Redfaery;146464

Dear Co-workers,

I am really impressed by the effort that one of you put into retyping all the 'missing' data from the reporting spreadsheet.

I would have been far more impressed, however, if any of you had realized that you were looking at columns P-T of said spreadsheet instead of columns A-E... where the actual data is and always has been.

Scroll bars exist for a reason, people.

TISI

veggiewolf · « **Reply #2097 on:** April 30, 2014, 09:57:40 pm »

Quote from: Aisling;146498

Dear Co-workers,

I am really impressed by the effort that one of you put into retyping all the 'missing' data from the reporting spreadsheet.

I would have been far more impressed, however, if any of you had realized that you were looking at columns P-T of said spreadsheet instead of columns A-E... where the actual data is and always has been.

Scroll bars exist for a reason, people.

TISI

The sad thing is that this happens All.The.Time.

Aranel · « **Reply #2098 on:** May 02, 2014, 12:25:20 pm »

Quote from: veggiewolf;146502

The sad thing is that this happens All.The.Time.

Dear dog,

Please stop looking at me like that. I know you don't like them but you've got to have the pants on. When we got cream coloured carpets put in we had two spayed bitches with no plans to get another dog. Especially not an un-spayed 40kg bitch.
I'm sorry, please stop making me feel guilty by acting like it's the end of the world.

TISI

HarpingHawke · « **Reply #2099 on:** May 04, 2014, 01:50:42 am »

Quote from: Aranel;146580

Dear dog,

Please stop looking at me like that. I know you don't like them but you've got to have the pants on. When we got cream coloured carpets put in we had two spayed bitches with no plans to get another dog. Especially not an un-spayed 40kg bitch.
I'm sorry, please stop making me feel guilty by acting like it's the end of the world.

TISI

Dear people I am around a lot,

I am a touch-sensitive empath. I know you don't take it seriously, but when I say I am on overload, I am past overload, because I don't communicate my hurts well.
When I say I can't be around people, it's because I genuinely cannot handle it anymore.
And, as a touch-sensitive empath (as I've dubbed it) I pick up other people's feelings through TOUCH.

When I communicate this all to you and you tell me to stop being overdramatic and then proceed to HUG me? I have a panic attack.
So fuck ya'll. This needs to stop. :stop:

And don't get all offended when I pull away, either! I communicated my needs to you VERY CLEARLY and then you COMPLETELY DISREGARDED them!

TISI

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Author Topic: Humor/Quiz: There, I said it! (Read 203685 times)

SunflowerP

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stephyjh

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Riothamus12

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Allaya

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Adnarim

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dionysiandame

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stephyjh

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Aranel

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Chabas

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stephyjh

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Redfaery

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Aisling

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Aranel

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