There, I said it!

[Melamphoros]

One of the most popular ongoing humor threads of the SMF Board, it was only natural to have it restarted here.

Got something that's bugging you? Vent it here! Preferably in the most over-the-top fashion that you wouldn't dare to do in real life. Just remember to end your vent with the phrase "There, I said it!"

(Note: As a staff member, I think I should start by instituting a prohibition against venting about other members)





Bruno Mars,

STOP IT!

There. I said it.

[Erinnightwalker]

Dad, I love you. You are an inspiration to stubborn people everywhere. You have been an excellent provider and a stable influence. But I do have one teensy tiny request.

STOP F**CKING BLAMING ME FOR SHIT THAT GOES WRONG.

Yes, my boyfriend is sick. I can't help that. Yes the septic tank shit the bed. I didn't cause that one either. But it is f**cking obvious that you are deliberately putting me down and making me feel like shit because you don't dare do it to him or Mom. My boyfriend, because you want to keep him happy since he is the son you always wanted (and if you don't think that f**king hurts, knowing your own father would believe your boyfriend over you if the choice arose then you are dumber than you look, Dad); my mom, because not only do you love her but you will get no nookie if you piss her off too bad.

I know you are tired, but did it ever occur to you that I could be, too? That I could be sick and would really like my daddy to make me feel better? That I could, I don't know, be freaking the f**k out about the mysterious lumps in my neck and shoulder and trying not to mention it so no one else freaks out?

Oh, that's right. I don't have a dick so everything you hear about me doesn't matter. And you wonder why I take such pleasure in petty scraps of revenge. You grind me down and down, and one day I will snap. And I fear I will hurt you when I do.

When was the last time you said you were proud of me anywhere where I could hear? Oh, right, when you had just had a seizure. 2 years ago. Seems like the only time we bond is when one of us is sick and doesn't want to disturb the other.

I'm a failure as a daughter Dad. I'm tired of being a verbal punching bag. I'm tired of having to agree with you to get any sort of non-biting reply back. I'm tired of being the spare kid. So shut it. Shut up shut up shutupshutupshutup. Shut your mouth and open your eyes before I leave.

There. I said it.

[Sage]

I'm a failure as a daughter Dad. I'm tired of being a verbal punching bag. I'm tired of having to agree with you to get any sort of non-biting reply back. I'm tired of being the spare kid. So shut it. Shut up shut up shutupshutupshutup. Shut your mouth and open your eyes before I leave.
There. I said it.

*hugs for Erin*

Dear Asshole #2 from my Ethics Class,

Die in a fire, you scum-ridden overly privileged and ignorant idiot. Spewing patriotic Fox News quips in a loud tone does not, actually, constitute a well-thought-out opinion. I should NEVER have to argue with ANYONE that hurting children and/or the act of rape is wrong. You. Fail. Humanity. FOREVER.

No love,

Me.

[SatSekhem]

Bruno Mars,

STOP IT!

There. I said it.

Bravo, Mel. Bravo!

Dear Technology,

I hate you. Sure, I'm using you to write this, but I hate the constantly changing thing. I hate the fact that I bought this laptop four years ago for six hundred bucks and I can't get something similar in what's out there today. For something in that price range, I get a better hard drive and more RAM, but I mean... a fourteen inch friggin' display? Are you kidding me? I'm getting older, not younger!! And if I want a display as large as the one I have now, I have to shell out another $150!! And never mind the fact that I need Microsoft Office and I have to actually buy it! Ugh!

There, I said it.

[victoreia]

There, I said it.

Hey, migraine! GO AWAY ALREADY!!! Five days is more than long enough to hang around!

There, I said it. (And I'll undoubtedly have to say again..... )

[SatSekhem]

...

Dear Idiot Customer,

I appreciate that you have a new vehicle, really I do. I also appreciate that you put a lot of faith in technology, really I do. However, that doesn't mean that you can berate my cashiers and force them to WAKE ME UP on my ONE DAY OFF so that you can rant at me about how your husband obviously "couldn't possibly" put the $20 of gas in your tank since it didn't appear on your dashboard. Even though, clearly he did as all of my cashiers saw him. And even though, clearly it has to have gone somewhere since it wasn't on our registers as a cancellation. And, even though, clearly you shouldn't put so much faith in your "brand new vehicle" and it's "brand new technology." Seriously, dude. Listen to me: Five gallons of gas in a brand-new SUV ain't nothin'. And maybe, just maybe, if you had turned your vehicle ON you would have seen the five gallons added to the four gallons you already had in your car. Maybe. Probably.

And honestly, I really can't wait to see what customer service has to say about you being a complete dumbass.

There. I said it.

[Sage]

Hey, migraine! GO AWAY ALREADY!!! Five days is more than long enough to hang around!

There, I said it. (And I'll undoubtedly have to say again..... )

Your migraine is clearly in cahoots with my lower back pain.

[Dark Midnight]

Your migraine is clearly in cahoots with my lower back pain.

Also, closely allied with my chest pain. Can they all just quit now, please?!

[Sage]

Also, closely allied with my chest pain. Can they all just quit now, please?!

Ahhhhhh bad word. Right now my L4 and L5 vertebrae really want me to know they exist. Hi there. I know you're there. I can feel you. STOP IT.

[Aisling]

I'm a failure as a daughter Dad. I'm tired of being a verbal punching bag. I'm tired of having to agree with you to get any sort of non-biting reply back. I'm tired of being the spare kid. So shut it. Shut up shut up shutupshutupshutup. Shut your mouth and open your eyes before I leave.

There. I said it.

(((Erin)))