I want to start on a search for my first god/goddess.

[R03e]

At first I thought of just sitting and waiting for a god/goddess to appear. I wasn't expecting a mythical experience type thing but thought that it would come to me one day like in a book or something. Now I decided to just try to find my own deity for myself, but not sure how to go about it.

Do I just do research and find one that just suits me? I'm really not sure how to ask this because it hard to put into words and I forgot exactly what I had in mind.

I know that not everyone finds their deity in the same way. Some through dreams, others by feeling/sprituality/meditation. I'm thinking reserching gods/goddesses will be best so I can find one that suit me. but I don't know if that is the best option anyways because it would also feel like I ll be picking one based on who I like. For instance i think I would like to choose Persephone or Demeter solely because they are nature based goddess and I love nature, but also because Persephone is my favorite goddess. I don't want to feel like I"m choosing her just becasue she is my fave, but why she is my fave. I don't feel like there is mythical connection, but I can relate a lot with her especially when it comes to our relationsips with our mothers.

Another thing I'm wonderring is besides from picking one that suits me but by choosing one that I can have a connection with. I know that not all deities connect directly with every single person the worship them, but surely just about everyone can feel connected in some way as if this one is truly the right deity. I don't just want to just try one at a time besides from the fact that it will take too long, but I wouldn't know how long I should spend on each anyways before even deciding he or she isn't even the right one anyways.

If you want you can give me brief anecdotes on your experiences and you found yours, but mostly I just need ideas of where to start. I don't know why or if I know if I'm ready for a deity, but I feel like I am at that point where I can at least head towards the next step because so far I just been getting settled although all I did was finally officially decide to be a Pagan and join a forumn, but I wanted to do more than that. That is not the reason why I feel like I need one though I just know I would like to consider how to find one.

[Jenett]

Do I just do research and find one that just suits me? I'm really not sure how to ask this because it hard to put into words and I forgot exactly what I had in mind.

The way my training did this (and it works pretty well for a lot of people) is to do some deliberate investigation, but also create space for spontaneous relationships to develop.

The deliberate investigation is that as part of our training, we had to research a different deity each month (all the same deities, from a list.) We were asked to write up a short summary (pantheon, connections within that pantheon, symbols, a short summary of a couple of the major myths about them, etc.) but also to do some kind of creative project honouring or connecting with that deity (could be art, music, poetry, gardening. Someone did an essential oil blend once.) Basically, something that's left-brain mode (research) and something that's right-brain mode (creative), to put it very roughly.

The combination seems to work really well. We'd spend about a month on each, with a little flexibility around other assignments for training.

(The list was built from both deities the group regularly honoured - makes sense - and deities the group didn't work with often, but who are commonly referred to/honoured in the larger community (Brigid, for example))

We also, about 2/3 of the way through training, did some specific meditations and other trance work to help us connect with a deity. (I can't share ours, but there's variants in a bunch of meditation books out there - I'm pretty sure there's one in Diana Paxson's _Trance-Portation_, which is my favourite intro trance/meditation/etc. recommendation these days, and if not, one you could easily adapt.)

What happened for me? The night before we did that meditation in class, I had a very very very specific and detailed dream. I spent the following several years tracking the deity in that dream down sufficiently to build an ongoing relationship (my best guess is that she's one of the many English deities-of-water, with some other associations: I still, 10 years later, don't have a name for her besides a use-name.)

The thing about building a relationship with a deity is that there are ways in which it's very like building a relationship with another person. (Also ways it isn't, but bear with me.)

Some people, you meet them and you immediately know they're going to be majorly important in your life for a long time. But a lot more commonly, you do this "Hey, you're sorta interesting" and "You're sorta interesting too." and spend some time doing a specific thing or two together, and then it broadens out, and you find some time later you're talking about (and doing) lots of different things.

It takes both people making that work - but often those connections may be more directly pushed by one or the other person. Works like that with deities, too.

Sometimes you might develop a perfectly good but working relationship with a deity (like you might have with a teacher or a doctor or whoever). They're not your best buddy, but they're still important and helpful to you. Sometimes you build a more equal peer relationship (you both do stuff for the other that's useful and appreciated.) Sometimes it's more complicated. (I refer to my relationship with M'Lady as a handmaiden relationship.)

Anyway, all of those take time to build (just like people who do fall in love at first sight still need to sort out a bunch of details...) so expect the process to take some time and patience. But at the same time, there's no reason you can't gently feel things out.

One of my favourite references for deity relationship work is a book called _Devoted to you_ edited by Judy Harrow - it has lengthy essays on four deities by people who've been devoted to those deities for years (Greek, Celtic, and Egyptian pantheons): they mention a number of resources (which is handy) but also methods of connecting with and building relationship with deity.

[Ula]

Do I just do research and find one that just suits me? I'm really not sure how to ask this because it hard to put into words and I forgot exactly what I had in mind.

If you want you can give me brief anecdotes on your experiences and you found yours, but mostly I just need ideas of where to start.

I started with my ancestors. Both grandmothers were of German descent so I started looking there. I was having a hard time connecting with the Northern Gods then I came across Frau Holda. Reading about her actually caused a physical response. My heart raced and I felt like I had found someone I thought was lost. It was a lot of reading online to get to her but it worked.

You can start with a pantheon you like, feel connected to or just read. I like the previous posters idea of just picking a different one and reading. You'll know when there is a connection.

Best thing about reading is you will recognize symbols when you see them. Also if you have a profession or hobby that a god/goddess likes you could try there too. I wish you luck but remember you don't have to have a patron to work at your altar or do spells. It will come to you.

[Kylara]

I was having a hard time connecting with the Northern Gods then I came across Frau Holda. Reading about her actually caused a physical response. My heart raced and I felt like I had found someone I thought was lost.

I had a similar experience (with different deities). I was doing a lot of reading, trying to find my way. I don't remember if I was reading a chant or spell out loud, or just saying the name, but when I said the name Odin (and later Freya) I got (and still get) a physical reaction. I feel it in my heart, and it is a feeling I've not gotten when working with or talking about other deities.

[Nachtigall]

If you want you can give me brief anecdotes on your experiences and you found yours, but mostly I just need ideas of where to start. I don't know why or if I know if I'm ready for a deity, but I feel like I am at that point where I can at least head towards the next step because so far I just been getting settled although all I did was finally officially decide to be a Pagan and join a forumn, but I wanted to do more than that. That is not the reason why I feel like I need one though I just know I would like to consider how to find one.

After some time being a (mostly) eclectic Pagan, I decided to commit to one religion/pantheon and honor all the main deities in it. The pantheon of my choice was Hellenic, based on many reasons (one of them was, that as a mathematician, the emphasis on logic and clarity of mind in Hellenic religion appealed a lot to me), and after I got to know Them, the decision to devote myself to one of the Theoi (while still not neglecting the others) came quite natural.

[Erratic Charmer]

... I was having a hard time connecting with the Northern Gods then I came across Frau Holda. Reading about her actually caused a physical response. My heart raced and I felt like I had found someone I thought was lost. ...

... I don't remember if I was reading a chant or spell out loud, or just saying the name, but when I said the name Odin (and later Freya) I got (and still get) a physical reaction. I feel it in my heart, and it is a feeling I've not gotten when working with or talking about other deities.

Snipped for emphasis on the physical reaction aspect: shaking, crying, heart-racing... YMMV of course but much like falling in love, when it happens you will know.

It's a slow process though, or at least it was for me. I had hints to go on but it was a few years before I knew Her name. In the meantime I spent a while with the Norse deities, among others. I was doing graduate work in Old Norse at the time and felt intellectually sure that They were the ones. It's more of a body thing than a mind thing though.

Make offerings. It's great when new friends come bearing gifts. Special incense, flowers, cream or whiskey or good coffee - try and tailor the gifts somewhat to the deity you're offering to, if possible.

I have a theory that when you're 'new' on the Pagan scene, just as you're probably interested in checking out and saying hello to lots of different spirits and deities, They are also noticing you and going, 'Hm, new kid on the block, let's see what they're like.' At the beginning you're all trying to get the measure of each other and as time goes by you will settle into your closest friendship(s).

Good luck!

[R03e]

Snipped for emphasis on the physical reaction aspect: shaking, crying, heart-racing... YMMV of course but much like falling in love, when it happens you will know.

It's a slow process though, or at least it was for me. I had hints to go on but it was a few years before I knew Her name. In the meantime I spent a while with the Norse deities, among others. I was doing graduate work in Old Norse at the time and felt intellectually sure that They were the ones. It's more of a body thing than a mind thing though.

Make offerings. It's great when new friends come bearing gifts. Special incense, flowers, cream or whiskey or good coffee - try and tailor the gifts somewhat to the deity you're offering to, if possible.

I have a theory that when you're 'new' on the Pagan scene, just as you're probably interested in checking out and saying hello to lots of different spirits and deities, They are also noticing you and going, 'Hm, new kid on the block, let's see what they're like.' At the beginning you're all trying to get the measure of each other and as time goes by you will settle into your closest friendship(s).

Good luck!

Wow, all of the above methods are good and although they all have slightly different ideas they basically have one thing in common. If I don't know where to start it would be best to just jump in.

I might take the advice to start with my ancestors,but I'm more familiar with Greek Mythology because that is commonly talked about in school a lot. Of course bits of Asian and Norse.

I never expect a patron god/goddess just would like to follow at least one or at least several in general.

[R03e]

After some time being a (mostly) eclectic Pagan, I decided to commit to one religion/pantheon and honor all the main deities in it. The pantheon of my choice was Hellenic, based on many reasons (one of them was, that as a mathematician, the emphasis on logic and clarity of mind in Hellenic religion appealed a lot to me), and after I got to know Them, the decision to devote myself to one of the Theoi (while still not neglecting the others) came quite natural.

yeah, I can imagine connecting better with a god/goddess with similar interest. I'm more of an artist and I have a thing for history and learning. Perhaps i could build a relationship with a deity like that.

[Maps]

After some time being a (mostly) eclectic Pagan, I decided to commit to one religion/pantheon and honor all the main deities in it. The pantheon of my choice was Hellenic, based on many reasons (one of them was, that as a mathematician, the emphasis on logic and clarity of mind in Hellenic religion appealed a lot to me), and after I got to know Them, the decision to devote myself to one of the Theoi (while still not neglecting the others) came quite natural.

This is more or less how I'm going about it myself, and it's working out wonderfully for me. :>

For me, I had to jump in and aggressively pursue what I was looking for instead of waiting for it to fall in my lap, because I knew it would never happen if I didn't. The religious snapshot I was looking to revive was a proactive one-- so I had to be proactive myself.

Some people are naturally sensitive to spirits and powers, or are appealing to them for one reason or another. Me? Not so much, I don't think. And as I'm sure you've read if you've been here long enough, the god-bothered are pretty rare in the wild. Meaning, for the rest of us, that "omg" moment has its roots in lots of good old fashioned research.

[Staff of Sekhmet]

At first I thought of just sitting and waiting for a god/goddess to appear. I wasn't expecting a mythical experience type thing but thought that it would come to me one day like in a book or something. Now I decided to just try to find my own deity for myself, but not sure how to go about it.



Do I just do research and find one that just suits me?

Well I'm not saying this is the best way to discover a deity, but it certainly is one way, and quite an effective one. Go with your heritage. Like if you're Greek, Germanic, etc. Like I said, not the only way, but believe me there is some connection with the gods of your ancestors within you.