Fear of the fluff

[Arcadia]

For me, I have a lot of trouble speaking up or sharing my opinion when it comes to my beliefs. There are times when I choose to remain silent, rather than look like I have just sprouted ears and a cotton tail.

There's so much I want to share and disuss, but I honestly fear being judged. TC is renowned for discussion and debate and I love that, but I fear criticism. Which in turn restricts my voice. I am seriously lacking in self confidence in this area.



Am I the only one who fears looking fluffy or newbish?

[RandallS]

There's so much I want to share and disuss, but I honestly fear being judged. TC is renowned for discussion and debate and I love that, but I fear criticism. Which in turn restricts my voice. I am seriously lacking in self confidence in this area.

Am I the only one who fears looking fluffy or newbish?

No, you probably are not. However, it might help to remember that being ignorant isn't "being fluffy" on TC. Fluffiness here is "willful ignorance" -- for example, thinking that "all Pagans follow the Rede" isn't fluffy. However, insisting that it is true even after various Pagans tell you that the Rede is not a part of their religion is "fluffy".

[RandallS]

Another thing to remember is that TC as a forum is NOT focused on beginners, so there is a lot of knowledge here and a lot less fluffiness than you will find on some other forums. If you fear stating something might show ignorance or fluffiness, ask a question. There's no such thing as a stupid question as look as the question is asked in good faith.

[FierFlye]

Another thing to remember is that TC as a forum is focused on beginners

Do you NOT focused on beginners?

[FierFlye]

TC is renowned for discussion and debate and I love that, but I fear criticism. Which in turn restricts my voice. I am seriously lacking in self confidence in this area.

I think it's unfortunate that you feel restricted. Sometimes I see answers given to newbies that are a little harsh, and it makes me sad.

You've been around this board for awhile though, I think you probably have a pretty good handle on board culture.

I also think that many times it's not the topic that comes off as "fluffy" but the way it's presented. Keep that in mind. Claiming that X works for everyone or that all practitioners of a certain religion see Y in the same way is likely to get one pounced upon. But saying, "I, personally, look at Y in this way, does anyone else?" is much more likely to lead to fruitful discussion.

[Kylara]

For me, I have a lot of trouble speaking up or sharing my opinion when it comes to my beliefs. There are times when I choose to remain silent, rather than look like I have just sprouted ears and a cotton tail.

There's so much I want to share and disuss, but I honestly fear being judged. TC is renowned for discussion and debate and I love that, but I fear criticism. Which in turn restricts my voice. I am seriously lacking in self confidence in this area.

Am I the only one who fears looking fluffy or newbish?

I get those fears Even after years of practice, and years of posting on different websites...and a fair amount of time sitting down and thinking things through and trying to come to terms with the store of knowledge and personal experiences I have gathered...there are definitely times where I feel like I have a thought that might get me laughed at.

I had a really bad experience on another site. My introduction post was torn apart and one of the members started picking out lines, twisting them out of context and then attacking me about what she felt I was saying. It didn't matter what I said in response, she just kept at me. Eventually I just walked away and let it die down, but some of the things she said were just absolutely spiteful and it took some work for me not to feel defensive and hurt when I thought about it.

I think that kind of changed how I approach my own mind when it comes to posting. I do work very hard to make sure that I clearly say when something is my own opinion or if I am referencing something/someone else to make sure that is stated. It helps to remind myself that there are so many different perspectives, and that mine is just one. It also helps to remind myself that I can only control me, and if someone else wants to be rude or to go out of their way to make others feel bad, all I can do is not let their negativity get to me.

I still have moments of 'deer in the headlights' fear when I go to hit the post button. I've become somewhat stubborn about it. I feel like I owe it to myself to post my thoughts, and other than that one really bad experience, on the whole I've not had any other real problems.

[Vale]

Sometimes I see answers given to newbies that are a little harsh, and it makes me sad.

Quite agree - it seems that a large number on people introduce themselves, post once or twice and after a bruising reception to their initial posts vanish.

[Darkhawk]

Quite agree - it seems that a large number on people introduce themselves, post once or twice and after a bruising reception to their initial posts vanish.

Most people who join forums, for whatever subject, don't stick around and talk, regardless of their reception.

I think it's something like 90% or more of people who do stick around never post, and this has been the case since the internet started? I keep seeing people cite that kind of statistics.

[monsnoleedra]

For me, I have a lot of trouble speaking up or sharing my opinion when it comes to my beliefs. There are times when I choose to remain silent, rather than look like I have just sprouted ears and a cotton tail.

There's so much I want to share and disuss, but I honestly fear being judged. TC is renowned for discussion and debate and I love that, but I fear criticism. Which in turn restricts my voice. I am seriously lacking in self confidence in this area.

Am I the only one who fears looking fluffy or newbish?

I can't speak for everyone but I think its a common situation for quite a few if not all at one time or another. Especially so when one first arrives at a new site, post to much and your egotistical, post to little and your something else. Truthfuly at times I think its like being Goldielocks and instead of the three bears you have three positions on the net, to hot, to cold and just right.

My advise is go ahead and post and see where it goes. Yeah some may seem to pick it apart some may not. Others may discover a facet of themselves that they had not considered or a perspective that gets clear from your posting.

I do tend to think where many have issues (myself included at times) is that they see their arguments picked apart and take that as an attack upon their person vice critical analysis of their thoughs and opinions. Let's face it when your ideas and ideals are picked apart it is hard at times to seperate oneself from feeling it is yourself that is being scrutinied vice your thoughs.

Then you also have writting styles to deal with. Myself, I know I come across as an arse many times but my writing style also reflects my military background and rank I held. Been doing it so long that it is now second nature to me so I don't even really realize it until someone asks for clarrification or calls me on it.

Besides don't worry about sprouting a cotton tail and ears for there is no one that has not made a fool of themselves at some point. Some of us doing so quite a bit at times just afraid to admit it to anyone including ourselves.

[Maps]

For me, I have a lot of trouble speaking up or sharing my opinion when it comes to my beliefs. There are times when I choose to remain silent, rather than look like I have just sprouted ears and a cotton tail.

There's so much I want to share and disuss, but I honestly fear being judged. TC is renowned for discussion and debate and I love that, but I fear criticism. Which in turn restricts my voice. I am seriously lacking in self confidence in this area.

Am I the only one who fears looking fluffy or newbish?

I do quite often. And what I did to counteract that feeling without depriving myself of a vehicle for expressing thoughts was start a blog. No need to be afraid of saying the wrong thing in your own journal! :>