Author Topic: Facing the God (Read 4067 times)

AthenaiiseSofia · « **on:** March 23, 2012, 02:52:38 pm »

Hello, my name is Nuri, and I'm a manhater.

Perhaps that's a bit harsh... I just don't trust men. Like many others, I've been burned one too many times. I've had no honorable father figures, and romantic relationships have sucked. I'm working on these things, trust me lol. Don't get me wrong, many of my friends are guys and I have a boyfriend. But I keep them at a distance.

And I recently realized that in order to find balance in my life, I need to build a relationship with the God. I'll admit, I'm afraid. I know I shouldn't be, because of all masculine forces out there, the God is the one I can trust. I have a fabulous relationship with the Goddess(es), but I trust women. How do I build a relationship with the God, when I've never been able to build a good relationship with a regular man?

I guess my question is, where do I start? I understand that I'll have to come to terms with my pains and such, but I really don't know where to begin. I know He is waiting for me to initiate, but I"m at a complete loss. I hope there's someone out there like me who understands this problem.

As always, thank you so much for your help & input. Always a blessing.

Nyktelios · « **Reply #1 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:07:10 pm »

Quote from: Nuri;46972

Hello, my name is Nuri, and I'm a manhater.

Perhaps that's a bit harsh... I just don't trust men. Like many others, I've been burned one too many times. I've had no honorable father figures, and romantic relationships have sucked. I'm working on these things, trust me lol. Don't get me wrong, many of my friends are guys and I have a boyfriend. But I keep them at a distance.

And I recently realized that in order to find balance in my life, I need to build a relationship with the God. I'll admit, I'm afraid. I know I shouldn't be, because of all masculine forces out there, the God is the one I can trust. I have a fabulous relationship with the Goddess(es), but I trust women. How do I build a relationship with the God, when I've never been able to build a good relationship with a regular man?

I guess my question is, where do I start? I understand that I'll have to come to terms with my pains and such, but I really don't know where to begin. I know He is waiting for me to initiate, but I"m at a complete loss. I hope there's someone out there like me who understands this problem.

As always, thank you so much for your help & input. Always a blessing.

Have you read Starhawk's chapter about the God of Witchcraft in her Spiral Dance book? If not, you might find it helpful, as she discusses how he is not the same as the dominant patriarchal image of manhood in western society. Starhawk is definitely a feminist, though not a man-hater, and she has some interesting things to say on the subject.

Other than that, maybe you could look into male deities you feel comfortable with. I was just reading recently that Dionysus can be considered a "Zeus for women", as Zeus himself is much more a man's deity, while Dionysus has many of the same titles and functions, yet his followers were mainly women. There are many androgynous and effeminate male deities out there if you don't feel comfortable with an alpha male kind of deity.

Altair · « **Reply #2 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:21:28 pm »

Quote from: Carnelian;46983

Have you read Starhawk's chapter about the God of Witchcraft in her Spiral Dance book? If not, you might find it helpful, as she discusses how he is not the same as the dominant patriarchal image of manhood in western society. Starhawk is definitely a feminist, though not a man-hater, and she has some interesting things to say on the subject.

It's been a while since I've read it, but I was struck by how I found Starhawk's take on manhood the *least* interesting thing about her book. (And I say that as someone for whom The Spiral Dance was otherwise an important milestone in his spiritual life.) I felt as if my entire existence as a male had been reduced to the role of rape-fighter. Really? That's all I'm about?

But it was so long ago, maybe I should read it again.

Juni · « **Reply #3 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:24:25 pm »

Quote from: Nuri;46972

I'm confused- you list your religion as Hem-Neter but you're looking for the God? Could you clarify, please?

Lokabrenna · « **Reply #4 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:32:46 pm »

Quote from: Carnelian;46983

Have you read Starhawk's chapter about the God of Witchcraft in her Spiral Dance book? If not, you might find it helpful, as she discusses how he is not the same as the dominant patriarchal image of manhood in western society. Starhawk is definitely a feminist, though not a man-hater, and she has some interesting things to say on the subject.

Other than that, maybe you could look into male deities you feel comfortable with. I was just reading recently that Dionysus can be considered a "Zeus for women", as Zeus himself is much more a man's deity, while Dionysus has many of the same titles and functions, yet his followers were mainly women. There are many androgynous and effeminate male deities out there if you don't feel comfortable with an alpha male kind of deity.

I agree with all of this. I might not agree with everything Starhawk has to say, but her chapter on the God was very helpful when I was getting over my "man-hating" Dianic witchcraft Goddess-only phase and learning to love male deities again. (If you haven't read it, be sure to read the endnotes, as she expands on the text quite a bit.)

I'd also nominate Dionysus for "Gods for women who are uncomfortable with gods" and add Freyr to the pile. He's "never made any girl or man's wife cry" after all, and his priests (though he seems to have had at least one priestess) wore bells, danced around, and made "effeminate gestures" which was shocking to a lot of people.

Darkhawk · « **Reply #5 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:45:03 pm »

Quote from: Nuri;46972

I have a fabulous relationship with the Goddess(es), but I trust women. How do I build a relationship with the God, when I've never been able to build a good relationship with a regular man?

Do you trust women, generically, without regard for their trustworthiness as individual people? Or is it that you're willing to deal with women as people, with their merits and flaws, and thus are able to find the subset of women that are worthy of your trust?

Individual men are people, not Avatars of Maleness. Gods are like that too.

fireface · « **Reply #6 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:55:37 pm »

Another God to feel out might be Anubis. You may find his story worthy of sympathy.

HeartShadow · « **Reply #7 on:** March 23, 2012, 04:59:57 pm »

Quote from: fireface;46995

Another God to feel out might be Anubis. You may find his story worthy of sympathy.

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Maps · « **Reply #8 on:** March 23, 2012, 11:00:53 pm »

Quote from: Darkhawk;46991

Do you trust women, generically, without regard for their trustworthiness as individual people? Or is it that you're willing to deal with women as people, with their merits and flaws, and thus are able to find the subset of women that are worthy of your trust?

Individual men are people, not Avatars of Maleness. Gods are like that too.

Agreed.

I wouldn't personally be able to connect to a masculine deity while I thought so poorly of masculinity everywhere else in my life. Also personally, I have a lot of issues with "hatred" coming from within the construct of binary gender as a non-binary myself... and as a firm believer that gods transcend gender entirely.

OP, where does this "need" come from, and why is it currently a need for you? You might take this opportunity to reflect on your baggage-- I don't think any deity from any pantheon would appreciate their worship being defined by something like hate and bitterness.

Etheric1 · « **Reply #9 on:** March 23, 2012, 11:09:19 pm »

Quote from: fireface;46995

Another God to feel out might be Anubis. You may find his story worthy of sympathy.

What story are you referring to?

fireface · « **Reply #10 on:** March 23, 2012, 11:52:31 pm »

Quote from: Etheric1;47044

What story are you referring to?

The general idea that Anubis was abandoned (betrayed) by his mother and was then adopted and raised by Isis. A less strong figure might allow such things to run their life but as far as I can tell Anubis grew into a patient and dignified God who was quietly loyal to his "real" mother Isis. I personally see him as a quietly good example of masculine traits. And since he should be capable of evoking sympathy within someone that might help establish a comfortable connection with his masculine energy.

Etheric1 · « **Reply #11 on:** March 24, 2012, 12:33:39 am »

Quote from: fireface;47048

The general idea that Anubis was abandoned (betrayed) by his mother and was then adopted and raised by Isis. A less strong figure might allow such things to run their life but as far as I can tell Anubis grew into a patient and dignified God who was quietly loyal to his "real" mother Isis. I personally see him as a quietly good example of masculine traits. And since he should be capable of evoking sympathy within someone that might help establish a comfortable connection with his masculine energy.

Gotcha. Never really thought about it quite that way.

Nachtigall · « **Reply #12 on:** March 24, 2012, 09:02:20 am »

Quote from: Darkhawk;46991

Do you trust women, generically, without regard for their trustworthiness as individual people? Or is it that you're willing to deal with women as people, with their merits and flaws, and thus are able to find the subset of women that are worthy of your trust?

Individual men are people, not Avatars of Maleness. Gods are like that too.

I agree. Nuri, I think that in your case it would be much more helpful to work through your problem with male figures psychologically first, perhaps with the help of some therapy.

The attitude "the God is not like those evil, human males who shall not be trusted" isn't really helping in order to cultivate your relationship with Divine Masculine (I suppose, since you are speaking of "the" God, you subscribe to duoteistic view similar to Wicca).

spoOk · « **Reply #13 on:** March 24, 2012, 02:19:04 pm »

Quote from: Nachtigall;47098

I agree. Nuri, I think that in your case it would be much more helpful to work through your problem with male figures psychologically first, perhaps with the help of some therapy.

The attitude "the God is not like those evil, human males who shall not be trusted" isn't really helping in order to cultivate your relationship with Divine Masculine (I suppose, since you are speaking of "the" God, you subscribe to duoteistic view similar to Wicca).

actually I took her phrasing to generally mean....I've decided to seek some male energy force to go along with my female energy force....if you will.
she did claim to already have found and had good relations with "goddess(es)"....this does not seem to me to state she only seeks one female and one male deity exclusively.
I think if you'd like to approach the male energy out there and haven't got one in particular in mind,it might be an idea to do a sort of meditation leave your self open ritual and see what kinda feelings,images Come to mind.

or seek a deity who you think you could have conversations with,sort of,to help you Come round to dealing with males in general.

I recently found myself drawn to and dealing with my first overtly male (day time and fiery related-as apposed to moon,night,earth,water related) spirit and had to wrap my brain around the idea of dealing with him during the daytime...lol. it helps he was a playful deity though and kind of laid back without being full of himself.

dragonfaerie · « **Reply #14 on:** March 25, 2012, 11:23:25 am »

Quote from: Nuri;46972

I guess my question is, where do I start?

Therapy wouldn't be a bad idea. Talking with a trained professional should help you get to the root of your issues, so you know what you really need to work on here.

I also recommend picking up a copy of When I See the Wild God by Ly De Angeles. It's not all about male deities, but there are sections in there that talk about different male deities, and also some bits that are more like a story that you might find useful in trying to make a connection with male deities.

Karen

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Author Topic: Facing the God (Read 4067 times)

AthenaiiseSofia

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Nyktelios

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Altair

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Juni

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Lokabrenna

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Darkhawk

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fireface

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HeartShadow

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Maps

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fireface

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Etheric1

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