Has anyone ere *lost* their gods?

[earth_dragon]

I've been looking around the boards but I haven't found another topic quite like this. Forgive me if there is one and I just missed it.

Has anyone ever just felt like they *lost* their gods/goddesses? For years and years I was a faithful Wiccan and I worshipped to the Lord and Lady. Honestly, I'm not sure that was ever quite right for me to begin with, but I just so wanted something I could fit into. So I prayed and chanted, cast circle, called the quarters, worked with my tools -- you name it!



And I just do not feel the presence of the Lord and Lady. Or any lord and lady. I don't feel the presence of deity at all!

I feel a very deep connection to nature: all things earth, air, fire, water, plant, animal, mineral, stone. All things natural. But I just don't know about deity. I think I*want* to connect to and believe in deity, but I just never have. I absolutely believe in Spirit, the Akasha, but I don't see/feel/connect to the idea of deities, and I feel empty when I try to call upon deity. Because of all this, I've sort of stopped referring to myself as Wiccan and just started saying Pagan. For some reason, it seems important to me that I have a narrower definition of what I believe and/or practice.

I'm really hoping that others here can give me some insight and perspective. Thank you so much.

[Rhyshadow]

I've been looking around the boards but I haven't found another topic quite like this. Forgive me if there is one and I just missed it.

And I just do not feel the presence of the Lord and Lady. Or any lord and lady. I don't feel the presence of deity at all!

I feel a very deep connection to nature: all things earth, air, fire, water, plant, animal, mineral, stone. All things natural. But I just don't know about deity. I think I*want* to connect to and believe in deity, but I just never have. I absolutely believe in Spirit, the Akasha, but I don't see/feel/connect to the idea of deities, and I feel empty when I try to call upon deity. Because of all this, I've sort of stopped referring to myself as Wiccan and just started saying Pagan. For some reason, it seems important to me that I have a narrower definition of what I believe and/or practice.

I'm really hoping that others here can give me some insight and perspective. Thank you so much.

I don't think that Deity is necessary in the long run - you say you have a connection to all things natural - so maybe what you are is an Elementalist, connection to the Elements rather than to Deity.

Spiritually it can still be fulfilling, you just have to decide how you honor that connection and celebrate it.

And I don't think it narrows the definition of what you are - in fact, IMO, it widens it to encompass a lot more

[earth_dragon]

I don't think that Deity is necessary in the long run - you say you have a connection to all things natural - so maybe what you are is an Elementalist, connection to the Elements rather than to Deity.

Spiritually it can still be fulfilling, you just have to decide how you honor that connection and celebrate it.

And I don't think it narrows the definition of what you are - in fact, IMO, it widens it to encompass a lot more

I have wondered about this. I guess it's just kind of hard to shake an idea or a label for yourself once you have it in your head. Oddly enough, I kind of *wanted* something narrower. I kind of wanted to be able to say, "Yes, I'm a ..." Fill in the blank. I'm not sure why I wanted that, or if i still want that. Maybe just so it would make it easier for me to identify as something. I really don't know.

I do very much love the elements, but I'm not sure where I stand yet on Elementals. I love observing the wheel of the year, especially when I'm with a group.

OH, I THINK THAT'S IT! I think the reason I wanted some kind of label is because I thought it would make it easier for me to practice with a group. I love the group dynamic; the feeling of community. I really think that's been it all along.

Thank you very, very much for your input, hon!

[Rhyshadow]

I have wondered about this. I guess it's just kind of hard to shake an idea or a label for yourself once you have it in your head. Oddly enough, I kind of *wanted* something narrower. I kind of wanted to be able to say, "Yes, I'm a ..." Fill in the blank. I'm not sure why I wanted that, or if i still want that. Maybe just so it would make it easier for me to identify as something. I really don't know.

I do very much love the elements, but I'm not sure where I stand yet on Elementals. I love observing the wheel of the year, especially when I'm with a group.

OH, I THINK THAT'S IT! I think the reason I wanted some kind of label is because I thought it would make it easier for me to practice with a group. I love the group dynamic; the feeling of community. I really think that's been it all along.

Thank you very, very much for your input, hon!

Another possibility is that you might want to look into Druidism or Celtic Reconstructionism - both honor nature and deal with the spiritual side of that

[earth_dragon]

Another possibility is that you might want to look into Druidism or Celtic Reconstructionism - both honor nature and deal with the spiritual side of that

I will research those more. I know some of Druidism, but really know nothing of Celtic Reconstructionsim. Thank you.

[Ask-Embla]

I will research those more. I know some of Druidism, but really know nothing of Celtic Reconstructionsim. Thank you.

This is me throwing my two cents in a bit late the game, but for the record, I currently label myself only as a pagan, but am very actively exploring Celtic Recon, specifically Scot Gaelic. I started that when, like you, I found my strongest connections came with my relationship with the land, seasons, and especially the personality of trees. I looked at Druidry at first, and then I found CR. The way I see it, the Celts were ALL about the relationships between people and their land, and their deities were drawn off of these relationships. It's frustrated a lot of scholars in the past that the Celts had no cut-and-dry pantheon like the Greeks, Romans, or even the Scandinavians and other germanic people. Only a very small handful of deities were at all close to being pan-celtic, but there are hundreds of deities over all. A lot of them were personas of landmarks, like goddesses of rivers and such. It's made very clear to Celtic Reconstructionists (or at least it was to me) that the dieties are most liekely not going to show up until you start to figure out the land around you and read a lot of books. A lot of books. If you love to learn and explore the woods, CR is for you. I'm still finding my feet on this path. I plan on not officially calling myself a CR until the next Là Fhèill Brìghde, or another day that seems signifogent. So far I've not had any face to face experiences with any deities, not have I tried to. I built a nondescript alter, and I think about nature. I've felt pinpricks of Their presence, but so far, we're taking it nice and slow. The Celtic Cosmology doesn't see the world in four elements (water, fire, air, earth) but in three realms (land, sea, and sky.) I find this fits with my world view, especially since the number three seems a lot more worldly than four. So there's a good deal more, but I wanted to write this, if only for a chance to organize my own thoughts. In conclusion, CR = learning about absolutely everything + nature. Find your own path! But this is mine.

[Dezdura]

And I just do not feel the presence of the Lord and Lady. Or any lord and lady. I don't feel the presence of deity at all!

I see the Lady and Lord as metaphors for the masculine/feminine duality of the seasons. Other than that, it is just nature worship. In any listing of Wiccan categories, you will see categories listed which do not include any great significance put on the Lady/Lord other than that of a metaphor. There are also monotheist, and polytheist Wiccans. Some favor only an "earth mother" others favor many gods.

[earth_dragon]

I see the Lady and Lord as metaphors for the masculine/feminine duality of the seasons. Other than that, it is just nature worship. In any listing of Wiccan categories, you will see categories listed which do not include any great significance put on the Lady/Lord other than that of a metaphor. There are also monotheist, and polytheist Wiccans. Some favor only an "earth mother" others favor many gods.

Very true. I apologize because I should have been more clear. I tended to follow more along the lines of Scott Cunningham. I know not everyone agrees with him, but overall I found that was what worked for me.

For a long time I guess I tried to see or worship the lord/lady as actual, physical manifestations of Gods. I think I *wanted* that, like the way someone wants a revelations or sorts. I've heard and read when many Wiccans, and others, see the Lord and Lady as symbolic only. That makes sense, I can understand that, it's just something I'm struggling with on a personal level because I wanted actual gods. I'm adjusting to the idea of symbolism, but I find it difficult to pray to. I wonder if this is something others struggle with.

Thank you very much for your thoughts, hon!

[Marilyn/Absentminded]

I've heard and read when many Wiccans, and others, see the Lord and Lady as symbolic only.

According to the BTW Wiccans (the originals) we've had on the board, saying 'the Lord and Lady' is code for 'we have two very specific deities but their names are oathbound and not to be said in public'. The whole 'all gods are one god' kind of symbolism seems to be more from Dion Fortune than from traditional Wicca.

Absent

[earth_dragon]

According to the BTW Wiccans (the originals) we've had on the board, saying 'the Lord and Lady' is code for 'we have two very specific deities but their names are oathbound and not to be said in public'. The whole 'all gods are one god' kind of symbolism seems to be more from Dion Fortune than from traditional Wicca.

Absent

I've read of that but not run into it personally. I came from a very small town and there was absolutely nothing in the way of covens. I've since then moved to a much bigger place and sometimes celebrate holidays with a general Pagan group. That's nice and I very much appreciate having that. I've never been in anything that's required me to be oathbound.

I don't personally believe in keeping my deities secret, if I'm going to have deities at all. I know some Wiccans do, and I can respect and appreciate that, but it just wouldn't be for me. I practiced as a solitary really because I had no choice; there just wasn't anyone else where I lived. But I love the atmosphere and energy of a group when I can find it, and I've been lucky enough to find one where I live now. It's very general and has never required oaths of any kind.