FlameKeeping Discussion of the Week - 22Nov11 through 28Nov11

[veggiewolf]

Welcome to the Discussion of the Week for November 22nd through 28th, 2011!

Topic: Shadow Self

Background reading: Seeking the Shadow; That which I keep hidden...

Questions:

What is in your shadow? Who are you when you don’t like yourself?



What advantage do you have with keeping these behaviors in the shadow? What would happen if you integrated them?

What do you see in other people that makes you react negatively the most? Why? Is it related to your shadow?

[FierFlye]

Topic: Shadow Self

You'd think that with all the free time I spent this holiday sitting around playing Legend of Zelda I'd have answered these questions, but no. I have been mulling them over though, and do plan on sitting down and tackling them.

[Devo]

What is in your shadow? Who are you when you don’t like yourself?

My shadow is full of happy stuff. Being nice. Letting my walls down. Letting people in. Allowing myself to join groups of people, enjoy their company and in return have my company enjoyed. Anything to do with people probably fits into this category. I’ve lived so long on the outskirts of humanity- I don’t really know how to work with people and not let my insecurities get in the way. So I hide my nicer side behind a rougher exterior- because it’s easier that way.

I can’t say that I don’t like these attributes, per say. When I’m in my element and I know I’m in the company of people who I can trust and who don’t treat me like crap, I’m a completely different person. I’m nicer. Softer. More considerate. More breakable. I’m O, not S.

What advantage do you have with keeping these behaviors in the shadow? What would happen if you integrated them?

The advantage is I don’t hurt as much. People make me uncomfortable. Most people treat me like crap. And it’s a lot easier to keep people away for my health. That’s not to say that I’m not trying to let people in- but it’s really hard, because I keep meeting jerks.

If I integrated them, the ‘two halves would become whole’, I imagine. I’d be able to function better in society. I’d be able to make friends, have a social life, etc.

What do you see in other people that makes you react negatively the most? Why? Is it related to your shadow?

People that annoy me the most are those who are wishy-washy. Make a decision and go with it. It is entirely unrelated to my shadow as are most of the traits that annoy me :P People who are able to function in society and have friends- I envy them on some levels. But many of them have other traits that I’d rather not have, so it all balances out, as far as I’m concerned.

-Devo

[veggiewolf]

Questions:

What is in your shadow? Who are you when you don’t like yourself?

I am the monster that lurks in the shadows, that lives under the bed, that hides under rocks. I keep myself to myself and look for loopholes. I am pathologically distrustful and disdainful of everyone. Survival becomes paramount.

What advantage do you have with keeping these behaviors in the shadow? What would happen if you integrated them?

Keeping these behaviors in shadow means I can fall back on them if I need to, but they're not part of my default pattern. They used to be - and I've not yet learned to integrate them and remain healthy.

What do you see in other people that makes you react negatively the most? Why? Is it related to your shadow?

I am most bothered when I see someone without a survival instinct. It makes me want to take them and shake them in my teeth. SURVIVAL, at times, is the only imperative.

This is, of course, directly related to my shadow. Even in darkness, in loneliness, I never lose sight of survival. I do what it takes, come hell or high water, and damn the consequences.

[Shawnee]

What is in your shadow? Who are you when you don’t like yourself?

Self-doubt and fear of showing my true feelings are my two main stalkers. I'm the one who lets others simple words hurt me. The words and intent behind them aren't meant to cause pain but the way my mind twists them into derogatory remarks causes pain. I'm the one who can't let my real feelings show because then I would be vunerable to being cast aside.

What advantage do you have with keeping these behaviors in the shadow? What would happen if you integrated them?

I guess the advantage is that I can tell myself by hiding behind the shadows I am really safe. Hiding though is actually more dangerous because I am the one who is hurting me. Integrating them would mean taking responsibility for the self-inflicted pain and beginning to actually live my life instead of blending into the background.

What do you see in other people that makes you react negatively the most? Why? Is it related to your shadow?

Yep it is shadow related because I get ill when people are so emotional over every little thing. I wan't to scream. If the situation is really one that calls for being emotional fine otherwise stfu.