Spirituality, Where'd you go?!

[MoonChild78]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

[mlr52]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

Dwelling on the injury, does effect how you feel. It is the past and should be let go of. Rejoice in the new joint. Forgive yourself for being injured. You are healthy, (anyone living, or just going though the motions of living, has health).
Just feel a little bit better each day.

[HeartShadow]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

I think pain can block us from the spiritual - THEY aren't avoiding US, we just can't reach. It's like a big wall. We need more faith at that time, because we have less to hang on to.

It's not easy, but there is a way through. Good luck.

[MoonChild78]

It is the past and should be let go of. Rejoice in the new joint. Forgive yourself for being injured. You are healthy, (anyone living, or just going though the motions of living, has health).

Maybe I didn't make it clear, I'm getting a new joint but am currently awaiting it so I'm in constant pain until the surgery and will be for some time afterwards. But it's been a very long injury (over 10 years) and full of legal battles so it makes it hard to just "let go" though I do try and am surprisingly less depressed than I should be (according to my doctor) but I keep myself busy.

I've tried healing rituals for myself but it just seems to take too much out of me. My brother, whom is also a Pagan, thinks it the pain meds I'm on that they are somehow "blocking" me from feeling, well, anything cuz that is what they are supposed to do. Could that be it as well?!

thanks for the input thus far!!

[Etheric1]

Maybe I didn't make it clear, I'm getting a new joint but am currently awaiting it so I'm in constant pain until the surgery and will be for some time afterwards. But it's been a very long injury (over 10 years) and full of legal battles so it makes it hard to just "let go" though I do try and am surprisingly less depressed than I should be (according to my doctor) but I keep myself busy.

I've tried healing rituals for myself but it just seems to take too much out of me. My brother, whom is also a Pagan, thinks it the pain meds I'm on that they are somehow "blocking" me from feeling, well, anything cuz that is what they are supposed to do. Could that be it as well?!

thanks for the input thus far!!

I think the fact that your body is in pain from this is making it harder to connect. While our bodies can adapt to being in pain to a degree, it's still there as an ambient noise type thing and it would not shock me if that's inhibiting you. Do the pain killers hinder things? I dunno, that's hard to know for sure. I suppose it's possible, but I should hope it would be something that could be overcome, it just would need more effort. Interesting thought though.

[Jenett]

I've tried healing rituals for myself but it just seems to take too much out of me. My brother, whom is also a Pagan, thinks it the pain meds I'm on that they are somehow "blocking" me from feeling, well, anything cuz that is what they are supposed to do. Could that be it as well?!

Various medications - including pain meds - can affect how we sense and feel and direct energy, just as a whole host of other things can. And so can a bunch of things that go along with pain: pain by itself is exhausting, but it can also affect our quality of sleep, what foods we eat or don't eat, how the rest of our body feels and moves.

That doesn't mean that magical work is impossible - but that in my experience, you tend to need to figure out what's affecting what's going on, and then how to work around it.

And pay attention to what your body and your mind and your spirit are trying to tell you.

I mentioned elsewhere on the forum that I've had a fairly lengthy break in doing any kind of astral work, that has been a part of major medical foo where I burnt out all of my reserves, messed up my endocrine system, and various other things I do not recommend to anyone. I got frustrated at first with that, but after paying attention to what happened when I made small gentle attempts, I realised it was my body protecting me from further exhaustion and damage. Which is a good thing.

It's possible something similar is going on for you - that your body is already under enough strain that it recognises that one more thing is one thing too many. In that case, breaking down healing work into *very* small steps, or asking someone else who's capable at it to do a lot of the heavy lifting can both be good solutions.

I have a good friend who had major surgery to repair a joint that had been damaged for 45 yeas (and no, that's not a typo. forty-five). One of the things I did for her was work to help her untangle what the next stage of her life might look like. (Which has been complicated in some unexpected ways.) Some of that, she had a hard time getting traction on by herself, because she was so used to the way that certain things worked for her (as is quite reasonable.)

Sometimes an external perspective or fulcrum point can get more traction and change going - but you've got to trust the person who's making that happen.

[Mystic]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

I just wanted to say I have a lot of compassion for what you are going through, and that I will pray for you to get better.

[herenow]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

Things do go in cycles. Sometimes ‘connecting’ is easy and other times not so.
I like your description of ‘walking through rituals’.
You’ve said that this is a recent thing.
It may be just that you are maturing in your growth and your connections now are a bit different and you have to learn how to use them more reliably.
And when you do, the ‘awe’ will return!

[Dezdura]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

Don't beat yourself up.

I think we all can get burnt out if we do the same thing all the time.

I do think that mental attitude is intensified or diminished by the lack or or presence of exercise, good food, clean air. It could be that you have fallen into eating food that has toxified your body, and maybe you could benefit from a month of salads and water. I always find that going vegan for a while helps my overall attitude. Omit oils, sugar, flour (any combination ) milk, eggs, meat. Eat fresh raw vegetables, maybe a bit of balsamic vinegar.

I personally believe that the diet is where you have to start to feel better. And unless you are severely underweight, you won't suffer from a temporary (or long term) dietary change.

[chthonic-me]

So I've been battling a pretty bad injury for the past couple years and it culminating to me getting a whole new joint at the ripe ol' age of 32. Anyways, while all this has been going on I've been a good lil' Pagan doing ritual both Esbats and Sabbats but here is where the problem is. Normally, as in when I was healthy, I felt awe-filled and lifted and blessed but recently... NADA. I can't figure if it's from the injury and all the good energy is going there (to the injury) or I'm just not into it because I'm injured. All I can say is that it feels like I'm walking through the rituals instead of experiencing them but when I don't do them at all I feel crappy too.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Comments?

Thanks
*BB

I know exactly what you're going through. A little over 6 months ago, I was diagnosed with Endometriosis. The constant pain takes so much out of me and I've gradually felt a decrease in my ability to connect spiritually on top of all of the confusing troubles of being 23 (money, relationships, family, figuring out where I want life to go and how to get there, etc.). Bleckh!

Pain is a difficult burden to bear. It drains you and changes you into a different person in subtle but difficult ways; it puts your mind in an uncomfortable place, kind of. I think for me it's become a matter of re connecting spiritually. To everything. I just haven't managed to figure out how to do that yet...

I don't know. Maybe that's the case for you as well. You're just mentally and spiritually fed up with the pain and you need to attack from a new side?

Either way, I hope you get the healing you need and you can start living comfortably again.

BB