Birth Question

[savvy]

A few weeks ago my SIL asked me to be with her and her husband for the birth of their first child this December. So I'd like to do whatever I can to take out as much of the stress as I can to make the experience as pleasant as possible for them. My problem is that i have no idea how to do that as this is all completely new to me.

So I thought I'd ask if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for the event.

At this point all we've established so far is what music she wants.

[HeartShadow]

A few weeks ago my SIL asked me to be with her and her husband for the birth of their first child this December. So I'd like to do whatever I can to take out as much of the stress as I can to make the experience as pleasant as possible for them. My problem is that i have no idea how to do that as this is all completely new to me.

So I thought I'd ask if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for the event.

At this point all we've established so far is what music she wants.

First and foremost - be flexible. I don't care if she says no drugs up to the moment she's in the delivery room, she says she wants drugs you make sure she gets 'em. She says she wants 'em and gets there and it's not that bad, don't let people dope her up without her permission.

Make sure she's got ice chips, the dad has everything he needs, and that they can concentrate on baby and nothing else. Know her medical history as much as possible ahead of time just in case. Make sure the paperwork's all done ahead of time.

If the plan is to do post-birth pics, make sure you've got a hairbrush for her. Makeup if she wears it to the point that a pic without it would horrify her. Make sure you've got the camera, it's got batteries, room on the disc, etc.

Be the go-between - letting people know how it's going, what's going on. Don't let people pester the laboring mom OR dad without good reason. Make sure you can post status updates to FB or however the family wants to know what's going on.

make sure she's got a packed bag from about November on ready to go - and a car seat and all other stuff set and ready to go. Make sure there's something in that bag that she can wear HOME from the hospital - we like to believe that the minute the baby's out the waist goes right back to where it should be. It's a lie.

That's all I can think of so far. And congrats to the family on the soon-to-be new addition!

[Catherine]

So I thought I'd ask if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for the event.

Congratulations to you and your family!

There's nothing quite like being a support person during childbirth. I've been a support person for all three of my sister's births, and two other times for friends. It's a totally awesome experience if you know what you're going into and are prepared for whatever might come up.

In addition to everything HeartShadow said, if you've never seen a birth before, make sure you watch a video or two. It wouldn't hurt to read a few books on childbirth either. Sorry, I can't recommend any, but I'm sure her OB/GYN can.

Find out exactly what your role will be. Are you just there to offer moral support, or will you be holding a leg while she pushes?

Are they taking any child birth classes? Can you go with them to learn how to coach her breathing, etc.? If not, ask them to go over all of it with you.

Bottom line, try to be as prepared as the couple is because you never know what will happen. For example, with one of my sister's deliveries, my ex-BIL nearly passed out and had to leave the room, so it was up to me to take care of my sister. You just never know.



If you have any specific questions, just ask.

[live oak]

A few weeks ago my SIL asked me to be with her and her husband for the birth of their first child this December. So I'd like to do whatever I can to take out as much of the stress as I can to make the experience as pleasant as possible for them. My problem is that i have no idea how to do that as this is all completely new to me.

So I thought I'd ask if anyone has any ideas or suggestions for the event.

At this point all we've established so far is what music she wants.

You need to know what they expect from their birth and what they expect from you. Sure, a lot of time the 'birth plan' just goes out the window, but at least you'll know what they're envisioning.

Is she hoping for a med-free birth? If she is, that changes the tone of the birth and you might be much more involved.

I second the suggestion that if you've never seen a birth to watch some videos (if you search on YouTube there are many, many different kinds of video--from epidural to c-section to un-medicated homebirths...I'd suggest a variety so you can see the range of normal).

Also, if she is hoping to go drug-free remember that really, there's not much you can do for her. Your job is to keep her as relaxed as possible and the environment as conducive to the kind of birth she wants. If she snaps at you, don't take it personally. Remember, too, that since it's her first all three of you are probably in it for the long haul. Bring your phone, computer and some quiet entertainment. No more than a large purse or backpack though, since depending on the hospital you might move rooms a lot (L&D triage to delivery room to postpartum).

Bring a toothbrush--laboring women are usually very, very sensitive to smells. And bring a jacket. Of the births I've attended, and my own, usually the laboring woman is HOT (!) and everyone else is freezing.

Birth is a weird, wonderful process. Good luck!

[savvy]

snip for general reply

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions, i'll be referring to this thread as we get closer to the due date. I attended the birth class with them last week so now we have a vague idea of what the mother to be wants to do. We still have a few months to sort it out though.

[hufflee]

Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions, i'll be referring to this thread as we get closer to the due date. I attended the birth class with them last week so now we have a vague idea of what the mother to be wants to do. We still have a few months to sort it out though.

You should also make sure she has something comfy to wear while AT the hospital. With my first child, I assumed I would have to stay in a hospital gown until the day I went home. After the delivery though, I was able to change into whatever I wanted, but I didn't have anything but what I intended to go home in. (My mom came to my rescue there.) I felt A LOT better after changing into a comfy pair of pajamas that I could walk around the hospital in instead of being stuck in a hospital gown.